Masked_Felix

Eh, if you're doing it right, they don't fear you, they fear the punishment when they do something wrong, and they only fear it when they know they've done something wrong. There's a difference between between punishment and abuse. A 2x4 to the face isn't a spanking. A paddling to the rump is.

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figg

This is absolutely true. Parenting is all about giving kids choices and letting them decide.
Take out the trash or no video games. As long as parents follow through, then kids will almost always do their chores.
I remember when my misbehaved younger cousin visited us and he wanted to go outside to play in the snow without gloves on. My aunt (his mother) spanked him to no avail, but my mother said to him, "you can either put on these mittens and have a good time playing outside OR you can sit inside by yourself." He immediately put on the gloves and ran out the door. My aunt stood there flabbergasted.
If kids don't do as you ask, give them choices and if they still won't cooperate take away privileges. If they're acting up then they won't go to their friend's birthday party, simple as that. No spankings or hitting required.
I think hitting a child as a form of punishment only normalizes violence so that they grow up thinking that hurting someone solves problems. Simple choices are the answer. That way, they'll grow up understanding the consequences of their decisions and choose the best choice.

Nikushimi

I'm definitely going to rep you the next time I can.



Oh, me? I'm with most of you guys. Children turn into assholes if they aren't disciplined, and we all know what happens to assholes in the real world: They get fucked. Assholes get fucked so violently, they- Okay, you know what? It's not even possible to be serious about this, so I'll just explain it another way: Kids that don't understand their place often think they're entitled to whatever they want whenever they want it. Then, when you finally get fed up with their shit and OWN THEM MASSIVELY, they bitch about how it's unfair and your assaulted them for no reason, and THEY act like THEY'RE the victims. My own little brother is a prime example. When your mommy mentally handjobs you and stuffs your ass full of McDonalds, you turn into a bloody arrogant brat. Which often results in a harsh discussion between the five fingers and the face, usually ending in "SLAP".

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Vivi

Some of you are right to an extent.

You do what figgs said, give them choices, and take away rights if they choose not to. But, if they screw up royally, doing something horrible, that's when you spank them. They have to learn a lesson, and I can tell you, children do not understand the concept of "you don't do this, and I take away this" (Although some can) they learn better from a spanking then from concepts. Trust me. But like I said, this is why you use a mix of the two.

EDIT: Oh, and, nothing hurts more than a good spanking. Sure you can take away a PSP, but if my ass is sore, I'd hate that more.

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Manic

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Vivi

Actually Manic, your father had a great strategy.

Robert Greene in one of his books (33 Strategies of War, or 46 laws of power) said that punishments should be rare, but harsh, and gifts should be equally as rare.

It instills fear, and promotes obedience.

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Empathy

The tactic of using fear to get the obedience of someone? You mean, terrorism?

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Manic

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Vivi

Respectful fear, not downright, shaking in the boots fear.

Jumping to extremes much?

EDIT: Manic, that makes sense. He should be good at discipline.

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Nikushimi

Indeed, there was, is, and forever shall be no messing with "Papa Chang".

Children raised by the belt shall live by the belt, and they shall raise their children by the belt, and their children, and so on.

The problem that arises from this issue is not the act itself, but the people who bitch and moan about the act: Namely, White, childless Liberals. D:

Now, it should be known that I have issues with Conservatives too, so I'm not just politically bashing an opposing party, in case anyone with those views happens to be reading this. To keep it short, I actually have BIG problems with ANYONE who "takes sides", because in my opinion, no normal, decent human being belongs to any one set of political beliefs. There is NOTHING right about being 100% Conservative, and there is NOTHING right about being 100% Liberal; anyone who says otherwise needs to gtfo the intarwebz because Nikushimi has spoken. It's okay to lean in a particular direction, but strong political activism has always been a turn-off to me. It's nothing but an organized gang war without actual fighting, with people spewing their idealogical refuse into the air I'm forced to breath. Shut the fuck up, people. The only opinion that matters is mine.

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figg

When did this turn into a political debate?
Back on topic. My parents NEVER spanked or hit me and I turned out fine. I respect my parents and I don't have to fear them. They can show tough love without violence. Back to my terrible cousin, he's been spanked more times than Paris Hilton and he doesn't respect his parents at all. He's been kicked out of about 5 schools because of his bitting and hitting. Again, parents punishing their kids through violence teaches their kids to solve their problems with violence. It doesn't (always) work that way.
If you want your child to grow up to be a brute then spank him, if you want him/her to grow up with reasoning skills and an understanding of cause and effect then give them choices.
I can confidently say that no professional parenting class will ever instruct parents to spank or hit their child for every-day punishment.

Hiro Nakamura

yeah there are people who never got hit and turn out fine, im just saying people from my time, and im saying that like im an old man, but actually theres a great diffrence of parenting nowadays then 10 years ago.
i think the parents of the new school got soft somehow and childeren got messed up, you know, just a correcting smack oncee in a while wouldnt be bad.

i see kids mess up a lot, imma assume they think that cuz they dont get hit at home, nobody is gonna touch them even when they run their mouth to strangers.


oh yeah, and i respect my parents too without having fear for them. so thats why i dont believe in that "hit your kids and they will grow up hating you" crap

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OnlyCarnage

Mate, I got walloped all the time when I was little kid. And I deserved it.


And if I ever intend to have kids and they play up... "They better believe thats a paddling."

Of course, there is a limit. I'll admit me mum was a bit of a bully. I probably will try not to go there, but I have inherited some of her bullyishness (evident with my little brothers). However, seeing as I'm the Dad I'll be like God to the kids and they won't fuck with me hopefully... My dad has a scary voice, and in most cases that was all that was needed to keep my brothers and I in check. If that didn't work, there was always his big hand or his studded belt... God, I'm 21 and I'm still scared of him.

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Vivi

You realize that conservatism and liberalism are political philosophies, not actual parties, right? Thus you can be 100% conservative, but vote for the Independent party, or the Democrat Party, or Republican Party.

You mean to say don't be 100% Democrat, or Republican.

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Empathy

True, but if someone is so-called 100% conservative, then they won't vote otherwise. I think you understood what he meant, not that I'm sticking up for Nikushimi or anything.

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