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| MFG Lounge A place for general topics of discussion that don't belong anywhere else. Spam and humor threads are to go in the Gas Chamber. |
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01-05-2005
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#46 (permalink) | |
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(19) Mastered Super Saiyan
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 1,009
Rep Power: 6
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More yo' momma jokes.
[table] QUOTE (Lazlo @ Nov 11 2004, 01:10 PM) | Yo Mama's so ugly, when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals" - Yo Mama's so ugly, just after she was born, her mother said, "What a treasure!" and her father said, "Yeah! Let's go bury it!" - Yo Mama's so ugly, they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies. - Yo Mama's so ugly, when she was born, the doctor slapped the wrong end. - Yo Mama's so ugly, they didn't make a costume for her when she tried out for Star Wars. - Yo Mama's so ugly, when she walks down the street in September, people say, "Damn! Is it Halloween already?" - Yo Mama's so ugly, the govt. moved Halloween to her birthday. - Yo Mama's so ugly, her mom had to feed her with a sling shot. - Yo Mama's so ugly, she had to trick-or-treat over the phone. - Yo Mama's so ugly, two guys broke into her apt., she yelled "rape", they yelled "NO!" - Yo mama's so ugly, she's like Taco Bell. When people see her, they run for the border. - Yo mama's so ugly, it looks like her neck threw up. - Yo mama's so ugly, rice crispies won't even talk to her. - Yo mama's so ugly, she scares people even with the lights out. - Yo mama's so ugly, they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints. - Yo mama's so ugly, when your dad wants to have sex in the car, he tells her to get out. - Yo mama's so ugly, that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye. - Yo mama's so ugly, I took her to the zoo, guy at the door said "Thanks for bringing her back." Yo Mama's so fat, she couldn't fit in a satellite photo. - Yo Mama's so fat, she's on both sides of the family. - Yo Mama's so fat, when she fell over, she rocked herself asleep trying to get up again. - Yo Mama's so fat, when she sat on a dollar bill, blood came out of George Washington's nose - Yo Mama's so fat, the telephone company gave her two area codes - Yo Mama's so fat, the back of her neck looks like a pack of hotdogs - Yo Mama's so fat, when she goes to the beach, kids shout: "Free Willy! free Willy!" - Yo Mama's so fat, she's got her own zip code - Yo Mama's so fat, people jog around her for exercise - Yo Mama's so fat, when she plays hopscotch, she goes New York, L.A., Chicago... - Yo Mama's so fat, if she weighed 5 more pounds, she could get group insurance. - Yo Mama's so fat, she jumped in air and got stuck. - Yo Mama's so fat, when she wears Maclom X shirt, helicopters land on her. - Yo Mama's so fat, when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too. - Yo Mama's so fat, the highway patrol made her wear a "Caution! Wide Turn" sign. - Yo Mama's so fat, when she sits around the house, she sits AROUND the house. - Yo Mama's so fat, when she steps on a scale, it read "One at a time, please." - Yo Mama's so fat, I swerved to avoid her in the road and ran out of gas. - Yo Mama's so fat, when she wears a yellow raincoat in the rain, people run to her and yell "Taxi!" - Yo Mama's so fat, she had to go to Sea World to get baptized. - Yo Mama's so fat, she has to iron her pants on the driveway. - Yo Mama's so fat, she puts on her lipstick with a paint-roller. - Yo Mama's so fat, when she tripped on 10th St., she landed on 22nd St.. - Yo Mama's so fat, when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up. - Yo Mama's so fat, if she was a superhero, she would be "incredible bulk." - Yo Mama's so fat, a picture of her fell off the wall. - Yo Mama's so fat, at the zoo the elephants started throwing her peanuts. - Yo Mama's so fat, she stepped on rainbow and made Skittles - Yo Mama's so fat, I guess we know what's eating Gilbert Grape. - Yo mama's so fat, her ass looks like two pigs fighting over a milk dud. - Yo mama's so fat, her blood type is Ragu. - Yo mama's so fat, she wears a watch on each arm, one for each time zone. - Yo mama's so fat, she stepped on a talking scale, and it said "GET THE HELL OFF!!" - Yo mama's so fat, the shadow of her ass weighs 50 pounds - Yo mama's so fat, she stepped on my cat's tail, now I call him "Beaver". - Yo mama's so fat, when I tried to drive around her, I ran out of gas. - Yo mama's so fat, when I climbed on top of her, I burned my ass on the light bulb. - Yo mama's so fat, she's got more chins than a Chinese phone book. - Yo mama's so fat, when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips. - Yo mama's so fat, I had to take a train and two busses just to get on her good side. - Yo mama's so fat, I ran around her twice, and got lost. - Yo mama's so fat, instead of wearing Levis 501 jeans, she wears Levis 1002's. - Yo mama's so fat, she's got more rolls than a bakery. - Yo mama's so fat, she was floating in the ocean, and Spain claimed her as a new world. - Yo mama's so fat, she could sell shade. - Yo mama's so fat, that when God said "Let there be Light", he told her to move her fat ass out of the way. - Yo mama's so fat, when I finished having sex with her and tried to roll off, I was still on her. - Yo mama's so fat, when I have sex with her, I have to slap her ass and ride the wave in. - Yo mama's so fat, when she bends over, we go into daylight savings time. - Yo mama's so fat, when she takes a shower, her feet don't get wet. - Yo mama's so fat, she bumps into people when she's sitting down. - Yo mama's so fat, when your father mounts her, his ears pop. - Yo Mama's so fat, her butt has it's own congressmen. - Yo Mama's so fat, she needs a boomerang to wear a belt. Yo mama's so hairy, they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower. - Yo mama's so hairy, Bigfoot took a picture of her. - Yo mama's so hairy, her armpits look like she has Don King in a head lock. - Yo mama's so hairy, she looks like a Chia pet with a sweater on. - Yo mama's so hairy, she has afros on her nipples. - Yo mama's so hairy, you almost died of rug burn at birth. - Yo mama's so hairy, she shaves with a weedwacker. - Yo mama's so hairy, she got a trim and lost 10 pounds. - Yo mama's so hairy, when she spreads her legs ,the first thing that comes to my mind is "We're going to Bush Gardens." your mamma is so ugly, when she was born, she had an incubator with tinted windows, your mamma is so ugly, the doctor's still smacking her ass. your mamma is so funky, she used secret and it told on her. your mamma's drawls is so funky, roaches checkin' in but not out. your mamma is so fat, can't wear daisy dukes, wears boss hoggs. your mamma is so fat, police use her as a road block. your mamma is so fat, needs a six-piece bikini. your mamma is so old, she reads the bible and reminises. your mamma's cooking is so bad, the homeless gives it back. your mamma is so short, her feet swings on the toilet. your momma is so fat, she has more chins than the hong kong phone book. your momma is so big, when she went to the airport and told them she wanted to fly, they stamped goodyear on her ass and put her on a runway. your momma is so fat, she uses a vcr as a beeper. your momma is so fat, she influences the tide. Your mother is so stupid, on her application under education she put HOOKED ON PHONICS your momma is so stupid, she failed a blood test. your momma is so old, she was a waitress at the last supper. your momma is so old, she proof read the ten commandments. your momma is so stupid, on here application under sex, she put twice a week. your momma is so dumb, it took her 2 hours to watch 60 miniutes. your mommas so stupid, she thought she needed a token to get on the soul train. your momma is so dumb, she got fired from the M & M's factory for throwing away all the W'sYou're momma so fat, she be sellin' shade! You're momma so ugly, she walked down the street and got arrested for indecent exposure! You're momma so old, her s*#t has wrinkles! You're momma so stupid, she gave birth to you and asked the doctor if you were hers! You're momma so poor, her idea of big spendin' is buyin' a gumball! Yo' Mama is so fat, she tried to fit into a pair of 'BVD's and by the time she got it on, it spelled 'BOULEVARD'. Yo' Mama is so ugly, she went to the beauty parlor and it took her three hours just to get an estimate. Yo' Mama is so old, she went to a museum and they tried to claim her as an exhibit. Yo' Mama is so fat, she jumped in the air and got stuck. Yo' Mama is so old, when God said 'let there be light', she was there to flick the switch. Yo' Mama is so dumb, she threw a rock at the ground and missed, tripped over the wire of a cordless phone, and got hit by a parked car. Yo mama's so fat, I had to take a train and two busses just to get on her good side. Yo mama's so fat, when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips. Yo mama's so fat, when she hauls ass, she has friends come help. Yo mama's so fat, I've got to tell two snaps just to cover her fat ass. Yo mama's so fat, she's 36-24-36... but that's her forearm, neck, and thigh! Yo mama's so fat, she's 36-24-36... but that's in feet. Yo mama's so fat, they had to grease a door frame and hold a Twinkie on the other side to get her through. Yo mama's so fat, she can lay down and stand up and her height doesn't change. Yo mama's so fat, when she dances, she makes the band skip. Yo mama's so fat, when she walks across the living room, the radio skips. Yo mama's so fat, when she played hide-n-go-seek, she hid behind a water tower. Yo mama's so fat, the horse on her Polo shirt is real. Yo mama's so fat, the horse on her Jordache jeans is real. Yo mama's so fat, she's not kidding when she says "I'm so hungry I could eat a horse!" Yo mama's so fat, on Halloween she says "Trick or meatloaf!" Yo mama's so fat, on Halloween she trick or treats two houses at a time. Yo mama's so fat, when she opens the refrigerator, it says "I give up!" Yo mama's so fat, when she opens the refrigerator, it says "Uncle!" Yo mama's so fat, Fat Albert gave her the rights to say "Hey, hey, hey!" Yo mama's so fat, when she ordered a "My Size Meal" at McDonald's they gave her a dinosaur. Yo mama's so fat, when she ordered a "My Size Meal" at McDonald's they gave her the key to the store. Yo mama's so fat, when she went to Burger King and asked for a Whopper, they gave her the sign. Yo mama's so fat, when she works at the movie theater, she works as the screen. Yo mama's so fat, when she runs she makes the CD player skip... at the radio station. Yo mama's so fat, her belly jiggle is the first ever perpetual motion machine. Yo mama's so fat, all the restaurants in town have signs that say: "Maximum Occupancy: 240 Patrons OR Yo Mama" Yo mama's so fat, when she ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton. Yo mama's so fat, when she ran away, they had to put her picture on the milk truck. Yo mama's so fat, you can't even see her legs, it just looks like she's gliding across the floor. Yo mama's so fat, instead of Levis 501 jeans, she wears Levi's 1002's. Yo mama's so fat, instead of wide leg jeans, she wears wide load. Yo mama's so fat, she was in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade... wearing ropes. Yo mama's so fat, when she gets in an elevator, it HAS to go down. Yo mama's so fat, she don't wear a G-String, she wears an A, B, C, D, E, F, G-String. Yo mama's so fat, she fills up the bath tub, and then she turns on the water. Yo mama's so fat, she uses diet soap. Yo mama's so fat, she has to use a lawn chair instead of a Thigh Master. Yo mama's so fat, she went to sit down and the chair begged for mercy. Yo mama's so fat, all of her clothes have to be custom made by a contractor. Yo mama's so fat, when I said I wanted "Pigs in a blanket" she got back in bed. Yo mama's so fat, when she was diagnosed with the flesh eating disease, the doctor gave her 5 years to live. Yo mama's so fat, she doesn't have a doctor, she has a grounds keeper. Yo mama's so fat, she doesn't have love handles, she has a roll bar. Yo mama's so fat, she was born with a silver shovel in her mouth. Yo mama's so fat, she's got smaller fat women orbiting around her. Yo mama's so fat, a picture of her fell off the wall! Yo mama's so fat, her picture takes two frames. Yo mama's so fat, I saw a picture of her in a magazine on page 4, 5, 6, 7, and 8. Yo mama's so fat, when I yell "Kool-Aid," she comes crashing through the wall. Yo mama's so fat, she could sell shade. Yo mama's so fat, her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard. Yo mama's so fat, she's larger than life. Yo mama's so fat, she makes Big Bird look like a rubber duck. Yo mama's so fat, when she crosses the street, cars look out for her. Yo mama's so fat, she puts mayonaise on aspirin. Yo mama's so fat, people jog around her for exercise. Yo mama's so fat, I ran around her twice and got lost. Yo mama's so fat, she's once, twice, three times a lady. Yo mama's so fat, she gets runs in her jeans. Yo mama's so fat, when she was walking in her jeans I swear I smelled something burning. Yo mama's so fat, I gotta take three steps back just to see all of her. Yo mama's so fat, her ass has it's own congressman. Yo mama's so fat, she shops for clothes in the local tent shop. Yo mama's so fat, her favorite blouse is a tent. Yo mama's so fat, she deep-fries her toothpaste. Yo mama's so fat, her favorite food is seconds. Yo mama's so fat, when she stepped on a train track, the warning lights went on. Yo mama's so fat, when she goes to the circus she sees the big top and asks "Where can I try that on?" Yo mama's so fat, when she goes to the circus she takes up all the rings. Yo mama's so fat and old that when God said "Let there be Light", he told her to move her fat ass out of the way. Yo mama's so fat, even God couldn't raise her spirits. Yo mama's so fat that she has TB... two bellies. Yo mama's so fat, at the zoo, the elephants started throwing her peanuts. Yo mama's so fat, the animals at the zoo feed her. Yo mama's so fat, when your father mounts her, his ears pop. Yo mama's so fat, "Place Your Ad Here" is printed on each of her butt cheeks. Yo mama's so fat, every time she wears high heels, she strikes oil. Yo mama's so fat, when she plays football she plays the interior line. Yo mama's so fat, she has to keep pesos in one pocket and yen in the other. Yo mama's so fat, when she wears heels, they're flats by the afternoon. Yo mama's so fat, when she leaves the beach everybody shouts "The coast is clear." Yo mama's so fat, she wakes up in sections. Yo mama's so fat, her blood type is rocky-road. Yo mama's so fat, her blood type is Ragu. Yo mama's so fat, her college graduation picture was an aerial. Yo mama's so fat, her yearbook picture is an aerial. Yo mama's so fat, her driver's license says "Picture continued on other side." Yo mama's so fat, they used her for a trampoline at the Olympics. Yo mama's so fat, she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagon. Yo mama's so fat, when she put on some BVD's by the time they reached her waist they spelled "BouleVarD." Yo mama's so fat, when she auditioned for a part in "Indiana Jones," she got the part as the big rolling ball. Yo mama's so fat, she goes to a restaurant, looks at the menu, and says "Okay." Yo mama's so fat, when she brought her dress to the cleaners, they said "Sorry, we don't do curtains." Yo mama's so fat, when she goes to a restaurant, she doesn't get a menu, she gets an estimate. Yo mama's so fat, when I finished having sex with her and tried to roll off, I was still on her. Yo mama's so fat, I had to roll over twice to get off of her. Yo mama's so fat, if she got her shoes shined, she'd have to take his word for it! Yo mama's so fat, she's got Amtrak tattooed on her leg. Yo mama's so fat, when the police showed her a picture of her feet, she couldn't identify them. Yo mama's so fat, she freebases ham. Yo mama's so fat, we got her in the drive-in free by dressing her as a Chevy. Yo mama's so fat, she went on a light diet... As soon as it's light she starts eating. Yo mama's so fat, she's on a new diet... slim slow. Yo mama's so fat, she ain't on a diet, she's on a triet... She be like "What ya'll eating? I'll try it!" Yo mama's so fat, she went on a seafood diet... Whenever she saw food she ate it. Yo mama's so fat, she could go a week without eating and still not lose weight. Yo mama's so fat, she can't lose weight, only find it. Yo mama's so fat, when she bends over we go into daylight savings time. Yo mama's so fat, she's half Indian, half Irish, and half American. Yo mama's so fat, she got it goin' on... and on and on and on. Yo mama's so fat, when I climbed up on top of her, I burned my ass on the lightbulb. Yo mama's so fat, when she goes to an office, they tell her to pull up a sofa. Yo mama's so fat, if she wears fishnet stockings, they'd better be 50 pound test! Yo mama's so fat, the telephone company gave her two area codes. Yo mama's so fat, they have to run a relay race to get her belt through her belt loops. Yo mama's so fat, she has to put her belt on with a boomerang. Yo mama's so fat, her belt size is the equator. Yo mama's so fat, she wears an asteroid belt. Yo mama's so fat, she has her own area code. Yo mama's so fat, her ass looks like two pigs fighting over a milk dud. Yo mama's so fat, when she turns around, people throw her a welcome back party. Yo mama's so fat, when I was done I rolled over, over again, and I was still on top of the bitch. Yo mama's so fat, she can't even jump to a conclusion. Yo mama's so fat, if she weighed five more pounds, she could get group insurance! Yo mama's so fat, when she went to the Rose Parade they thought she was a float. Yo mama's so fat, she went to Sizzler and got a group discount. Yo mama's so fat, she made weight watchers go blind. Yo mama's so fat, she wears a watch on each arm, one for each timezone. Yo mama's so fat n black, she jumped in the ocean and they thought she was an oil spill. Yo mama's so fat, she has to wear a three piece bathing suit. Yo mama's so fat, she jumped in the ocean and the ocean jumped back and said "I'll wait my turn." Yo mama's so fat, when she plays football she play offense and defense. Yo mama's so fat, her nickname is "Damn." Yo mama's so fat, the back of her neck looks like a pack of hot-dogs. Yo mama's so fat, your daddy had to roll her in flower and look for the wet spot. Yo mama's so fat, she broke her leg and gravy dripped out. Yo mama's so fat, I shot the bitch and Crisco came out. Yo mama's so fat, she DJ's for the ice cream truck. Yo mama's so fat, I tried to fuck her doggy style but I was just ridin' piggy back. Yo mama's so fat, she stepped on a talking scale and it told her to "Get the fuck off." Yo mama's so fat, she stepped on a talking scale and it told her "Fuck it, they don't pay me enough!" Yo mama's so fat, she stepped on a talking scale and it told her "Sorry, we don't do livestock." Yo mama's so fat, she stepped on a talking scale and it said "Please step out of the car." Yo mama's so fat, she stepped on a scale and she saw her phone number. Yo mama's so fat, the last time she saw 90210 she was on a scale. Yo mama's so fat, when she gets on the scale it says "To be continued." Yo mama's so fat, when she steps on a scale, it says "One at a time, please." Yo mama's so fat, when she weighed herself the scale gave her an equation. Yo mama' so fat, she's moving the Earth out of its orbit. Yo mama's so fat, Yo father didn't know whether to fuck her or take the burro ride down. Yo mama's so fat, no one can talk behind her back. Yo mama's so fat, I gain weight just by watching her eat. Yo mama's so fat, when she takes a shower, her feet don't get wet. Yo mama's so fat, she's got her own zip code. Yo mama's so fat, she was floating in the ocean and Spain claimed her as a new world. Yo mama's so fat, she went to the movies and sat next to everyone. Yo mama's so fat, she can't reach her back pocket. Yo mama's so fat, she can't wear Dazzey Dukes. She has to wear Boss Hoggs. Yo mama's so fat, she has to iron her pants on the driveway. Yo mama's so fat, her tailor takes her measurements in light years. Yo mama's so fat, when she comes down the stairs she measures on the Richter scale. Yo mama's so fat, when she goes to a restaurant, she even orders "Thank You, Come Again." Yo mama's so fat, she eats biscuits like tic tacs. Yo mama's so fat, she don't eat Wheat Thins, she eats Wheat Thicks. Yo mama's so fat, she fell in love and broke it. Yo mama's so fat, when yo father fell in love with her he got lost. Yo mama's so fat, when she swims, she leaves stretch marks on the swimming pool. Yo mama's so fat, when she gets out of the car, she leaves stretch marks. Yo mama's so fat, she leaves stretch marks on the bathtub. Yo mama's so fat, when she fills up the tub, she fills up the tub. Yo mama's so fat, she gets clothes in three sizes: extra large, jumbo, and oh-my-god-it's-coming-towards-us! Yo mama's so fat, she got hit by a truck and asked "Who threw that rock?" Yo mama's so fat, she has to pull down her pants to get into her pockets. Yo mama's so fat, she has more nooks and crannies than a Thomas' English Muffin. Yo mama's so fat, she has to buy two airline tickets. Yo mama's so fat, she eats pumpkin pies like Skittles. Yo mama's so fat, when the cashier at KFC asked what size bucket she wanted, she said the one on the roof. Yo mama's so fat, she has to grease her hands to get into her pockets. Yo mama's so fat, she has two stomachs: One for meat, one for vegetables. Yo mama's so fat, she masturbates reading cookbooks. Yo mama's so fat, the shadow of her ass weighs 50 pounds. Yo mama's so fat, even her shadow has stretch marks. Yo mama's so fat, she needs a roadmap to find her ass. Yo mama's so fat, she fell in the Grand Canyon and got stuck. Yo mama's so fat, she jumped up in the air and got stuck. Yo mama's so fat, she jumped for joy and got stuck. Yo mama's so fat, she measures 36 24 36, and the other arm is just as big. Yo mama's so fat, the earth orbits around her instead of the sun. Yo mama's so fat, NASA orbits satellites around her. Yo mama's so fat, NASA is going to use her to fill the hole in the ozone layer. Yo mama's so fat, she plays hopscotch like this: LA, Detroit, Seattle, NY. Yo mama's so fat, when she went to a dating service, they matched her up with Detroit. Yo mama's so fat, I saw her in New York, and when I told my friend in LA, he'd seen her too. Yo mama's so fat, after she got off the carousel, the horse limped for a week. Yo mama's so fat, she puts on her lipstick with a paint-roller. Yo mama's so fat, she looks like the Stay-Puff marshmallow man on steroids. Yo mama's so fat, she sat on the corner and the police came & said "Break it up!" Yo mama's so fat, she can't just work one corner, she has to work all four. Yo mama's so fat, she sat on a dollar and made change. Yo mama's so fat, she sat on four quarters and made a dollar. Yo mama's so fat, her car is made out of spandex. Yo mama's so fat, she has to get out of the car to change the radio station. Yo mama's so fat, she has to get out of the car to change gears. Yo mama's so fat, she got a "speed pass" for Dairy Queen. Yo mama's so fat, she shows up on radar. Yo mama's so fat, she stood in front of the Hollywood sign and it just said H d. Yo mama's so fat, she had to roll over 4 times just to get an even tan. Yo mama's so fat, she tried to get an all-over tan, and the sun burned out. Yo mama's so fat, she uses hula hoops to hold up her socks. Yo mama's so fat, she wears a hula-hoop for a belly-button ring. Yo mama's so fat, she uses a mattress for a maxi-pad. Yo mama's so fat, she uses a pillow case as a sock. Yo mama's so fat, her skates went flat. Yo mama's so fat, her belly button doesn't have lint, it has sweaters. Yo mama's so fat, she wears a VCR for a beeper. Yo mama's so fat, she fell off a boat and the captain yelled "Land Ho!" Yo mama's so fat, she sat on a rowing machine and it sank. Yo mama's so fat, she went to a Chinese Restaurant and ordered a 40oz. of gravy. Yo mama's so fat, she has 48 midnight snacks. Yo mama's so fat, she's on both sides of the family. Yo mama's so fat, she can't tie her own shoes. Yo mama's so fat, she eats cereal out of a satellite dish. Yo mama's so fat, she sat in Big Foot and made it a lowrider. Yo mama's so fat, when she got on the bus she turned it into a low rider. Yo mama's so fat, when I tried to drive around her, I ran out of gas. Yo mama's so fat, when she walks down the street everyone yells "Earthquake!" Yo mama's so fat, when she walks down the street, you can hear her hips saying to each other "If you let me by, I'll let you pass." Yo mama's so fat, when she walks in front of the T.V., you miss 5 minutes of your show. Yo mama's so fat, the only thing stopping her from going to Jenny Craig is the door. Yo mama's so fat, the only thing she lost at Jenny Craig was $29.95. Yo mama's so fat, Jenny Craig did a credit check. Yo mama's so fat, when she volunteered to clean cages at the zoo, people walked by and said "Look at the elephant!" Yo mama's so fat, the highway patrol made her wear a "Caution! Wide Turn" sign. Yo mama's so fat, she sat on an Oreo and unlocked the magic. Yo mama's so fat, they had to baptize her at Sea World. Yo mama's so fat, last time she went to Sea World Shamu got a hard on. Yo mama's so fat, she jumed in da ocean and the whales started singing "We are family!" Yo mama's so fat, when I have sex with her I have to slap her ass and ride the wave in. Yo mama's so fat, they changed my Physics book to say "What goes up must come down, except Yo mama." Yo mama's so fat, they use the elastic in her underwear for bungee jumping. Yo mama's so fat, she bungee jumped and went straight to hell. Yo mama's so fat, when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too. Yo mama's so fat, she uses a kiddie slide for a shoe horn. Yo mama's so fat, she uses blanket as a washcloth. Yo mama's so fat, when her beeper went off, people thought she was backing up. Yo mama's so fat, when she goes to the beach, little kids yell "Free Willy, Free Willy." Yo mama's so fat, as a kid, she couldn't play Hide-n-seek, just seek. Yo mama's so fat, she makes Free Willy look like a Tic-Tac. Yo mama's so fat, when she backs up she beeps. Yo mama's so fat, she plays pool with the planets. Yo mama's so fat, she's taller lying down. Yo mama's so fat, the body snatchers called home for backup. Yo mama's so fat, the only thing she can fit into at the clothing store is the dressing rooms. Yo mama's so fat, when she fell down the stairs, she rocked herself asleep trying to get up again. Yo mama's so fat, she has to use sleeping bags for tube socks. Yo mama's so fat, they had to install speed bumps at the all-u-can-eat buffet. Yo mama's so fat, she pulls up a chair to an all-u-can-eat buffet. Yo mama's so fat, when it says all-u-can-eat it still ain't enough. Yo mama's so fat, when she sits around the house, she sits AROUND the house. Yo mama's so fat, you can pinch an inch on her forehead. Yo mama's so fat, you can smack it up, flip it, and rub it down all at the same time. Yo mama's so fat, you could go swimming in her bra. Yo mama's so fat, when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo. Yo mama's so fat, on a scale of 1 to 10, she's a 747. Yo mama's so fat, she has a greater gravitational attraction than a black hole. Yo mama's so fat, she uses the carpet as a blanket. Yo mama's so fat, when she wears corduroy pants, the ridges don't show. Yo mama's so fat, she made Richard Simmons cry. Yo mama's so fat, even Richard Simmons laughs at her. Yo mama's so fat, when she saw a yellow bus going down the road she yelled "Hey! Stop that Twinkie." Yo mama's so fat, when she wears a red dress people yell "Hey Kool-Aid Man." Yo mama's so fat, when she wears a yellow raincoat, people call her "Taxi!" Yo mama's so fat, when she wears a yellow raincoat, kids think its the school bus. Yo mama's so fat, when she wears a purple sweater people call her "Barney." Yo mama is so fat, when she sits in a chair, the rolls on her legs, cover her feet like a blanket. Yo mama's so fat, when she went to the beach Greenpeace tried to drag her ass back in the water. Yo mama's so fat, when she went to get a water bed, they put a blanket across Lake Michigan. Yo mama's so fat, when she sat on a rainbow, Skittle's fell out. Yo mama's so fat, and you're so poor, when she comes in your house the tires pop. Yo mama's so fat, she don't know wether she's walking or rolling. Yo mama's so fat, when she tiptoes, everyone yells "Stampede!" Yo mama's so fat, she get's her toenails painted at Earl Schieb's. Yo mama's so fat, but I fucked her anyway. Yo mama's so fat, when I tried to fuck her I didn't know if I was hitting the hole or a roll. Yo mama's so fat, when my dog went to fuck her he had to peel too many fat rolls and said "Fuck It." Yo mama's so fat, when she fart the whole planet came out. Yo mama's so fat, she makes sumo wrestlers look anerexic. Yo mama's so fat, her car is made of spandex. Yo mama's so fat, we're inside her right now. Yo mama's so fat, she makes Big Bird look like a rubber duck. Yo mama's so fat, one day when she got in a fight the person fighting her got lost in her. Yo mama's so fat, when she wore a shirt with an AA on it, people thought it was American Airlines biggest jet. Yo mama's so fat, if she were an airplane, she'd be a jumbo jet. Yo mama's so fat, one day she was lifting up her rolls and a car fell out. Yo mama's so fat, Dr. Martens had to kill 3 cows just to make her a pair of shoes. Yo mama's so fat, she can't stay on a basketball court for three seconds without getting called for a key violation. Yo mama so fat that she climbed Mt. Fuji with one step. Yo mama's so fat, all the chairs in her house have seatbelts. Yo mama's so fat, she smells like bacon at 90 degrees. Yo mama's so fat, and her back is so crooked, when she lays down...people say "I didn't know we had mountains." Yo mama's so fat, when she travels, she's gotta make two trips. Yo mama's so fat, God created her, and on tHe seventh day he rested. Yo mama's so fat, they call her "Big Fat Ho." Yo mama's so fat, when she was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks. Yo mama's so fat, when she was born, she didn't get a birth certificate, she got blue prints. Yo mama's so big, her belly button's got an echo. Yo mama's so big, they had to paint a stripe down her back to see if she was walking or rolling. Yo mama's so big, she uses a jungle gym for a walker. Yo mama's so big, she rollerskates on busses. Yo mama's so big, she can't wear an X jacket cause helicopters kept landing on her back. Yo mama's so big, she uses the interstate for a Slip `n Slide. Yo mama's so big, she reached in her pocket and handed me a CD, a Compact Dishwasher. Yo mama's so big, when you climb on top of her your ears pop. Yo mama's so big, she thought Barnum & Bailey were clothing designers. Yo mama's so big, when she bent down to tie her shoes, her face got burnt from re-entry. Yo mama's so big, she whistles bass. Yo mama's so big, she uses bowling balls for earrings. Yo mama's so big, that they had to change "One size fit's all" to "One size fits most" Yo mama's so big, when she went to the airport and said she wanted to fly they stamped Goodyear on her and sent her out to the runway. Yo mama's so big, when I fingered her I lost a watch and two rings! Yo mama's so big, when she goes in the water at the beach she changes the tide. Yo mama's so big, when she stands up the sun goes out. Yo mama's so stupid, she spent twenty minutes lookin' at an orange juice box because it said "concentrate". Yo mama's so stupid, I put a Scratch-N'-Sniff sticker on the bottom of the pool and she drowned. Yo mama's so stupid, I asked her do tricks for me and she wagged her tail. Yo mama's so stupid, she has 1 toe & bought a pair of flip flops Yo mama's so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to makeup her mind. Yo mama's so stupid, she asked me what yield meant. I said "Slow down" and she said "What... does.... yield... mean?" Yo mama's so stupid, she broke her neck at a flashing red light. Yo mama's so stupid, she put a phone up her ass and thought she was making a booty call. Yo mama's so stupid, she put out the cigarette butt that was heating your house. Yo mama's so stupid, she put on her glasses to watch 20/20. Yo mama's so stupid, she climbed over a glass wall to see what was behind it. Yo mama's so stupid, she thought Grape Nuts was an STD. Yo mama's so stupid, she climbed a chain link fence to see what was on the other side. Yo mama's so stupid, she got stabbed in a shoot-out. Yo mama's so stupid, she took a knife to a drive-by shooting. Yo mama's so stupid, she failed a survey. Yo mama's so stupid, she stopped at a stop sign and waited for it to say go. Yo mama's so stupid, I told her I was reading a book by Homer and she asked if I had anything written by Bart. Yo mama's so stupid, she gave birth to you. Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to commit suicide by jumping off a building, but she got lost on the way down. Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to commit suicide by jumping out of the basement window. Yo mama's so stupid, she needs twice as much sense to be a half-wit. Yo mama's so stupid, she told me to meet her at the corner of "Walk" and "Don't Walk." Yo mama's so stupid, she thought brownie points were coupons for a bake sale. Yo mama's so stupid, when the computer said "Press any key to continue", she couldn't find the 'Any' key. Yo mama's so stupid, she thought Tupac Shakur was a Jewish holiday. Yo mama's so stupid, when I was drowning and yelled for a life saver, she said "Cherry or grape?" Yo mama's so stupid, she sat in a tree house because she wanted to be a branch manager. Yo mama's so stupid, when I told her to squeal like a pig, she said "Moo!" Yo mama's so stupid, I saw her jumping up and down, asked what she was doing, and she said she drank a bottle of medicine and forgot to shake it. Yo mama's so stupid, her latest invention was a glass hammer. Yo mama's so stupid, she saw a billboard that said "Dodge Trucks" and she started ducking through traffic. Yo mama's so stupid, she died from boiling water in the toaster. Yo mama's so stupid, when she locked her keys in the car, it took her all day to get Yo family out. Yo mama's so stupid, she got locked out of a convertible car with the top down. Yo mama's so stupid, when she threw a grenade at me I pulled the pin and threw it back. Yo mama's so stupid, she took you to the drive-in to see "Closed for the season." Yo mama's so stupid, when she pulled into the drive-thru at McDonald's, she drove through the window. Yo mama's so stupid, she was on the corner with a sign that said "Will eat for food." Yo mama's so stupid, she got on an elevator and thought it was a mobile home. Yo mama's so stupid, she got locked in Furniture World and slept on the floor. Yo mama's so stupid, she got shoved in an oven and froze to death. Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks fruit punch is a gay boxer. Yo mama's so stupid, she brought a cup to the movie "Juice." Yo mama's so stupid, she got locked in a meat locker and sweat to death. Yo mama's so stupid, when your dad fucked her she said "Doesn't it go in my mouth?" Yo mama's so stupid, she leaves the house for the Home Shopping Network. Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to put M&M's in order. Yo mama's so stupid, she peals M&M's to make chocolate chip cookies. Yo mama's so stupid, she uses Old Spice for cooking. Yo mama's so stupid, she threw a rock the ground and missed. Yo mama's so stupid, her breasts are square cuz she forgot to take the Kleenex out of the box. Yo mama's so stupid, she sat on the TV & watched the couch. Yo mama's so stupid, she went to the store to buy a color TV and asked what colors they had. Yo mama's so stupid, she thought St. Ides was a Catholic church. Yo mama's so stupid, she thought St. Ides was an island in the Caribbean. Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks sexual battery is something in a dildo. Yo mama's so stupid, the first time she used a vibrator, she cracked her two front teeth. Yo mama's so stupid, she went to the Gap to get her teeth fixed. Yo mama's so stupid, she sent me a fax with a stamp on it. Yo mama's so stupid, I saw her walking down the street yelling into an envelope, asked what she was doing, and she said sending a voice mail. Yo mama's so stupid, she was on the corner giving out potato chips yellin' "Free Lays!" Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to throw a bird off a cliff. Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to drown a fish. Yo mama's so stupid, she thought menopause was a button on the VCR. Yo mama's so stupid, when she worked at McDonald's and someone ordered small fries, she said "Hey Boss, all the small one's are gone." Yo mama's so stupid, her shirt says TGIF- tits go in first. Yo mama's so stupid, her shoes say TGIF- toes go in front. Yo mama's so stupid, if brains were dynamite, she wouldn't have enough to blow her nose. Yo mama's so stupid, if brains were gas she wouldn't have enough to power a flea-mobile around the inside of a Froot Loop. Yo mama's so stupid, when they said they were playing craps she went and got toilet paper. Yo mama's so stupid, when I asked her if she wanted to play one on one, she said "Ok, but what's the teams?" Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to melt squeeze Parkay. Yo mama's so stupid, when she took you to the airport and a sign said "Airport Left," she turned around and went home. Yo mama's so stupid, she put a ruler on her pillow to see how long she slept. Yo mama's so stupid, she thought a quarterback was a refund. Yo mama's so stupid, I said give me a quarterback and she gave me Dan Marino. Yo mama's so stupid, she was locked in a grocery store and starved to death. Yo mama's so stupid, if you gave her a penny for her intelligence you'd get change. Yo mama's so stupid, she ran outside with a purse because she heard there was change in the weather. Yo mama's so stupid, they had to burn the school down to get her out of 3rd grade. Yo mama's so stupid, she couldn't tell which way an elevator was going if I gave her two guesses. Yo mama's so stupid, she wouldn't know up from down if she had three guesses. Yo mama's so stupid, when her husband lost his marbles she bought him new ones. Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks Tiger Woods is a forest. Yo mama's so stupid, she thought the internet was something you catch fish with. Yo mama's so stupid, she took a spoon to the Super Bowl. Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to mail a letter with food stamps. Yo mama's so stupid, she thought she could get food stamps at the post office. Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to drown herself in a carpool. Yo mama's so stupid, she thought a lawsuit was something you wear to court. Yo mama's so stupid, when the judge said "Order in the court," she said "I'll have a hamburger and a Coke." Yo mama's so stupid, she went to Burger King and thought she was a queen. Yo mama's so stupid, she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jif. Yo mama's so stupid that under "Education" on her job application, she put "Hooked on Phonics." Yo mama's so stupid, she cooked her own complimentary breakfast. Yo mama's so stupid, she had Dan Quayle check her spelling. Yo mama's so stupid, when asked what a pronoun was, she said a noun that gets paid. Yo mama's so stupid, she got hit by a cup and told the police that she got mugged. Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks Johnny Cash is a pay toilet! Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks socialism means partying! Yo mama's so stupid, she tripped over a cordless phone. Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to strangle herself with a cordless phone. Yo mama's so stupid, when asked on an application, "Sex?", she marked, "M, F, and sometimes Wednesday too." Yo mama's so stupid, when she read on her job application to not write below the dotted line, she put "O.K." Yo mama's so stupid, at bottom of application where it says Sign Here - she put Sagittarius. Yo mama's so stupid, she thought Chubby Checkers was a game for fat people. Yo mama's so stupid, you can tell when she's used the computer because there's White Out all over the screen. Yo mama's so stupid, she got a part time job painting skittles. Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks stereotype is the brand on her clock-radio. Yo mama's so stupid, she can't make Jello because she can't fit 2 quarts of water in the bix. Yo mama's so stupid, you can make her eyes twinkle by shining light in her ears. Yo mama's so stupid, it takes her 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes. Yo mama's so stupid, when she went by the YMCA she said "Hey, they spelled MACY's wrong." Yo mama's so stupid, on her job application where it says emergency contact she put 911. Yo mama's so stupid, she asked for a price check at the dollar store. Yo mama's so stupid, when she pulls up to a flashing red light it sounds like this... Vroom, Screech, Vroom, Screech. Yo mama's so stupid, it takes her an hour to cook minute rice. Yo mama's so stupid, if she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless. Yo mama's so stupid when she asked me what kinda jeans I wore, I said Guess and she said "Ah Levis?" Yo mama's so stupid, she jumped out the window and went up. Yo mama's so stupid, she said "what's that letter after x" and I said Y she said "Cause I wanna know". Yo mama's so stupid, she took lessons for a player piano. Yo mama's so stupid, she stands up on an empty bus. Yo mama's so stupid, the bitch snuck on the bus and paid to get off. Yo mama's so stupid, she studied for a blood test and failed. Yo mama's so stupid, she died before the police arrived because she couldn't find the "11" button in "9-1-1" Yo mama's so stupid, she thought Boyz2Men was a daycare center. Yo mama's so stupid, she thought hamburger helper came with another person. Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to insult you and started with "Yo mama's..." Yo mama's so stupid, she thought meow mix was a record for cats. Yo mama's so stupid, she thought she needed a token to get on soul train. Yo mama's so stupid, she invented a solar powered flashlight. Yo mama's so stupid, when I asked her about X-Men she said "Sure, there's Harry my first baby daddy, Willy the guy I see on Thursdays..." Yo mama's so stupid, she thought the board of education was a piece of wood. Yo mama's so stupid, she told everyone that she was "illegitiment" because she couldn't read. Yo mama's so stupid, she got hit by a parked car. Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks Wu-Tang is an orange flavored drink. Yo mama's so stupid, she sold the car for gas money. Yo mama's so stupid, she ran out of gas leaving Texaco. Yo mama's so stupid, her idea of safe sex is locking the car doors. Yo mama's so stupid, she sold the house to pay the mortgage. Yo mama's so stupid, she thought Sherlock Holmes was a housing project. Yo mama's so stupid, she went to a Clippers game to get a hair cut. Yo mama's so stupid, she went to a Whalers game to see Shamu. Yo mama's so stupid, when she saw a "Wrong Way" sign in her rearview mirror, she turned around. Yo mama's so stupid, she thought asphalt was a skin disease. Yo mama's so stupid, she thought Delta Airlines was a sorority. Yo mama's so stupid, when she saw the "NC-17 (Under 17 Not Admitted)" sign, she went home and got 16 friends. Yo mama's so stupid, when your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon. Yo mama's so stupid, she married Yo daddy. Yo mama's so stupid, she called the 7-11 to see when they closed. Yo mama's so stupid, she gave your uncle a blowjob 'cause he said it'd help his unemployment. Yo mama's so stupid, when she heard 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved. Yo mama's so stupid, she got fired from a blow-job. Yo mama's so stupid, I saw her in the frozen food section with a fishing rod. Yo mama's so stupid, I taught her how to do the running man and I haven't seen the bitch since. Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks a sanitary belt is drinking a shot out of a clean glass. Yo mama's so stupid, she put a peephole in a glass door. Yo mama's so stupid, when someone said "Take the trash out," she moved. Yo mama's so stupid, she used a vibrator for an egg beater. Yo mama's so stupid, she wiped her ass before she took a shit. Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks a 17 inch Admiral is a well hung sailor. Yo mama's so stupid, she went to Dr. Dre for a pap smear. Yo mama's so stupid, she asked you "What is the number for 911". Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to steal a free sample. Yo mama's so stupid, I told her Christmas was just around the corner and she went looking for it. Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks Christmas Wrap is Snoop Dogg's holiday album. Yo mama's so stupid, she bought a video camera to record cable TV shows at home. Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks Trak Auto is where you get hair weaves for your car. Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to drop acid but the car battery fell on her foot. Yo mama's so stupid, she got shot running the border after seeing a Taco Bell commercial. Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks Taco Bell is where you pay your telephone bill. Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks Taco Bell is a Mexican Phone Company. Yo mama's so stupid, she ordered a cheese burger from McDonald's and said "Hold the cheese." Yo mama's so stupid, she put a quarter in a parking meter and waited for a gumball to come out. Yo mama's so stupid, she put on a coat to chew winterfresh gum. Yo mama's so stupid, she got on her knees to drink her "Nehi" peach drink. Yo mama's so stupid, she thought Thiland was a men's clothing store. Yo mama's so stupid, she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the W's. Yo mama's so stupid, when she went to take the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead. Yo mama's so stupid, she needed a tutor to learn how to scribble. Yo mama's so stupid, she ordered her sushi well done. Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to wake up a sleeping bag. Yo mama's so stupid, she fell up the stairs. Yo mama's so stupid, she went on Double Dare and when they asked her name she said "I think I'll take the physical challenge." Yo mama's so ugly, well.. look at you! Yo mama's so ugly, she looks like you. Yo mama's so ugly, she could only be Yo mama. Yo mama's so ugly, they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower. Yo mama's so ugly, they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies. Yo mama's so ugly, when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals." Yo mama's so ugly, when she looks in the mirror, the reflection ducks. Yo mama's so ugly, when she looks in the mirror, the reflection looks back shaking it's head. Yo mama's so ugly, when the terminator said "I'll be back" he left running. Yo mama's so ugly, her birth certificate was an apology letter from the condom factory. Yo mama's so ugly, she looks like she's been in a dryer filled with rocks. Yo mama's so ugly, she looks like her face caught on fire and they put it out with a fork. Yo mama's so ugly, she looks like her face caught on fire and they put it out with a track cleat. Yo mama's so ugly, she's uugly. I had to add another u `cause u is ugly too! Yo mama's so ugly, her mom had to be drunk to breastfeed her. Yo mama's so ugly, it looks like she's been bobbing for french fries. Yo mama's so ugly, even the elephant man paid to see her. Yo mama's so ugly, when your dad wants to have sex in the car, he tells her to get out. Yo mama's so ugly, she couldn't get laid in a prison with a handful of pardons. Yo mama's so ugly, her face is closed on weekends! Yo mama's so ugly, she could scare the flies off a shit wagon. Yo mama's so ugly, the last time I saw something that looked like her, I pinned a tail on it. Yo mama's so ugly, we put her in the kennel when we go on vacation. Yo mama's so ugly, her shadow quit. Yo mama's so ugly, her shadow ran away from her. Yo mama's so ugly, people at the circus pay money not to see her. Yo mama's so ugly, when she gets up, the sun goes down. Yo mama's so ugly, she looks like she got hit with a bag of "What the fuck?!?!" Yo mama's so ugly, when she moved into the projects, all her neighbors chipped in for curtains. Yo mama's so ugly, roaches go "Hi mom!" Yo mama's so ugly, she hurt my feelings. Yo mama's so ugly, Rice Krispies won't talk to her. Yo mama's so ugly, she'd scare the monster out of Loch Ness. Yo mama's so ugly, her pillow cries at night. Yo mama's so ugly, instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle, they put it around her neck. Yo mama's so ugly, people make jokes about her. Yo mama's so ugly, I can't even make a joke out of it. Yo mama's so ugly, she climbed the ugly ladder and didn't miss a step. Yo mama's so ugly, Yo daddy tosses the ugly stick and she fetches it every time. Yo mama's so ugly, she didn't get hit with the ugly stick, she got hit with the ugly log. Yo mama's so ugly, she didn't get hit with the ugly stick, she ran through the whole damn forest. Yo mama's so ugly, they rub tree branches on her face to make ugly sticks. Yo mama's so ugly, bitch looks like she was hit by the whole damn ugly tree! Yo mama's so ugly, her mama had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dog to play with her. Yo mama's so ugly, she tied a pork chop around her neck and the dog still wouldn't play with her. Yo mama's so ugly, my dog took one look at her and ran away. Yo mama's so ugly, she makes blind children cry. Yo mama's so ugly, the kids call her Lassie and feed the bitch dog biscuits. Yo mama's so ugly, her picture is on the inside of a Roach Motel. Yo mama's so ugly, people hang her picture in their cars so their radios don't get stolen. Yo mama's so ugly, I took her to a haunted house and she came out with a job application. Yo mama's so ugly, I took her to the zoo, guy at the door said "Thanks for bringing her back." Yo mama's so ugly, I took her to the zoo and the monkeys said "Damn, how'd you get out so fast." Yo mama's so ugly, even the tide won't come back in. Yo mama's so ugly, even the tide won't take her out. Yo mama's so ugly, when she went to Taco Bell they said "There's nothing ordinary about it!" Yo mama's so ugly, when she went camping, the park ranger was like "Hey Yogi!" Yo mama's so ugly, when she went to Taco Bell everyone ran for the border. Yo mama's so ugly, people go as her for Halloween. Yo mama's so ugly, I can fuck her in any position and its still doggy style. Yo mama's so ugly, she can look up a camel's butt and scare the hump off of it. Yo mama's so ugly, she looked out the window and the police fined her for mooning. Yo mama's so ugly, she has 7 years bad luck just trying to look at herself in the mirror. Yo mama's so ugly, she can't even bare the thought of fucking herself. Yo mama's so ugly, I have to watch your sister undress just to calm down. Yo mama's so ugly, if she was a flavor da bitch would be oogalicious. Yo mama's so ugly, when she takes her bra off she looks like she has four big toes. Yo mama's so ugly, Medusa is jealous. Yo mama's so ugly, it looks like she ran the 100 yard dash in a 90 yard gym. Yo mama's so ugly, when she cries, tears run down the back of her neck. Yo mama's so ugly, she could be the poster child for abortion/birth control! Yo mama's so ugly, she uses her face for birth control. Yo mama's so ugly, she practices birth control by leaving the lights on. Yo mama's so ugly, the Pro-Lifers would make an exception in her case. Yo mama's so ugly, when she got in the tub, the water jumped out. Yo mama's so ugly, they put her face on a poster for abstinence. Yo mama's so ugly, she has to creep up on her makeup. Yo mama's so ugly, she has to creep up on water to get a drink. Yo mama's so ugly, when I took her to a haunted house she came out with a paycheck. Yo mama's so ugly, she could scare the chrome off a bumper! Yo mama's so ugly, she could scare the moss off a rock! Yo mama's so ugly, she could scare Cujo off a meat truck. Yo mama's so ugly, it looks like she got hit with a hot sack of nickels. Yo mama's so ugly, her dentist treats her by mail-order. Yo mama's so ugly, she has to trick or treat over the phone. Yo mama's so ugly, when she masterbates she gets arrested for cruelty to animals. Yo mama's so ugly, she makes onions cry. Yo mama's so ugly, she scares roaches away. Yo mama's so ugly, she's never seen herself 'cause the mirrors keep breaking. Yo mama's so ugly, she threw a boomerang and it wouldn't even come back. Yo mama's so ugly, that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects. Yo mama's so ugly, that if ugly were bricks she'd be building a highrise. Yo mama's so ugly, that if ugly were an Olympic event, she would be the dream team. Yo mama's so ugly, she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween. Yo mama's so ugly, it makes me wish birth control is retroactive. Yo mama's so ugly, Yo father takes her to work just so he doesn't have to kiss her good-bye. Yo mama's so ugly, when Yo father is having sex with her he puts two bags on her head in case one of them breaks. Yo mama's so ugly, Yo father's breath smells like shit 'cause he'd rather kiss her ass. Yo mama's so ugly, just after she was born, her mama said "What a treasure!" and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it." Yo mama's so ugly, when she goes to the therapist, he makes her lie on the couch face down. Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born, they named her "Damn!" Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born, the doctor slapped her and her parents. Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born the doctor smacked everyone. Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born the doctor looked at her ass, then her face, and said "Twins!" Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born the doctor smacked her face. Yo mama's so ugly, the doctor is still smacking her ass. Yo mama's so ugly, she pretends SHE's someone else when she's having sex. Yo mama's so ugly, even Bill Clinton wouldn't sleep with her. Yo mama's so ugly, she got a sex change and the surgeon had to flip a coin. Yo mama's so ugly, your real pops could only be a fuckin' dog. Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born, the doctor smacked the wrong end. Yo mama's so ugly, the government moved Halloween to her birthday. Yo mama's so ugly, the last time she heard a whistle was when she got hit by a train. Yo mama's so ugly, the psychiatrist makes her lie face down. Yo mama's so ugly, when two guys broke into her apartment, she yelled "rape" and they yelled "NO!" Yo mama's so ugly, she was a guard for Castle Greyskull. Yo mama’s so ugly, that if ugly were a crime, she’d get the electric chair. Yo mama's so ugly, she has to get the baby drunk to breast feed it. Yo mama's so ugly, she scared the stitches off Frankenstein. Yo mama's so ugly, they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars. Yo mama's so ugly, they know what time she was born, because her face stopped the clock! Yo mama's so ugly, if you looked up ugly in the dictionary her picture would be next to it. Yo mama's so ugly, they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints. Yo mama's so ugly, they put her face on box of Ex-Lax and sold it empty. Yo mama's so ugly, when she passes by a bathroom the toilet flushes. Yo mama's so ugly, when she was lying on the beach, the cat tried to bury her. Yo mama's so ugly, if she was a scarecrow, the corn would run away. Yo mama's so ugly, when she walks in the kitchen, the rats jump on the table and start screaming. Yo mama's so ugly, when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillance cameras. Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born she was put in an incubator with tinted windows. Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born, her mama saw the afterbirth and said "Twins." Yo mama's so ugly, she gives Freddy Kreuger nightmares. Yo mama's so ugly, even a blind man wouldn't have sex with her. Yo mama's so ugly, Yo dad first met her at the pound. Yo mama's so ugly, you could stick her face in dough and make monster cookies. Yo mama's so ugly and fat, Greenpeace mistook her for an endangered elephant. Yo mama's so damn ugly and desperate, she did Winnie the Pooh and Tiger too. Yo mama's such an ugly bitch, she has a sign in her yard that says "Beware of Dog." Yo mama was such an ugly baby, her parents had to feed her with a slingshot. Yo mama's so ugly, she can stand on the front porch and count the chickens in the back. When Yo mama was born they had to take her out of the trash can cause doctor said "Thro |
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01-27-2005
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#51 (permalink) |
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(20) Super Saiyan 2
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Johnstown, PA
Posts: 1,394
Rep Power: 6
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More yo' momma jokes.
Your mom is so dumb she thought Boyz II men was a daycare center.
Your mom's butt is so hairy Don King popped out and said "Only in America" Your mom is so skanky she was born in the back of the "Freida Lays" chip truck. Your mom is so dumb she tried to climb up a glass wall to see what was on the other side. Your mom smells so bad I thought my cafeteria was serving meatballs. None of these are that funny I think.
__________________
 "I go out there on the court, and when you see me, you see me in games? You see me give 110% out there when it really matters? Ok then, what's the big deal with practice? We talkin' about practice here man. We talkin' about practice." - Allen Iverson |
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01-27-2005
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#52 (permalink) |
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(21) Majin Warrior
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Homeless /sigh
Posts: 1,634
Rep Power: 10
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More yo' momma jokes.
Your momma's so fat she needs a liscense to walk.
Your momma's so fat AND ugly that when people saw her they screamed, "Run, run for your lives! THE BLOB IS REAL!!!" =P Pwned...>_> I think...*crosses out* excessively taken out, tis' what I meant...
__________________
 A man said to the universe: "Sir, I exist!" "However," replied the universe, "The fact has not created in me a sense of obligation." |
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01-28-2005
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#54 (permalink) |
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(4) Turtle School Disciple
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 25
Rep Power: 0
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More yo' momma jokes.
Dude I didn't have time to read all af the above so this one's probably there , but anywayz "Yo' mama's so fat she uses scaffolding to hold upthe flab", "You're mums so poor, she went into oxfam and complained about high prices
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01-28-2005
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#55 (permalink) |
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(4) Turtle School Disciple
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 25
Rep Power: 0
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More yo' momma jokes.
Your Mum's got one toe and one knee and everyone calls her toni
Your Mum's like a petrol station, I pay she pumps Your Mum's like the internet, she's free after 6 Your Mum's so dumb she broke into prison Your Mum's so skinny she can dodge rain drops Your Mum's so dumb she swapped her shoes for a pair of laces Your Mum's so fat when I'm giving her one I burn my ass on the lightbulb Your Mum's house is so damp, the rats go around in speed boats Your Mums hair's so dirty her fleas are complaining Your Mums so dumb she got locked in the toilet and pissed herself Your Mum's so fat she sat on a rainbow and a skittle popped out Your Mum's so dumb she tried to put her M&M's in alphabetical order Your Mum's so dumb she can't spell Oxfam without looking on the label in her shirt Your Mum was so ugly that when she was born the Doctor slapped the afterbirth Your Mum's so old she owes Jesus a tenner Yous Mum's so tall when she does a cartwheel she kicks Jesus Your Mum's so small she can swing her legs ff the curb Your Mum's so skinny she can do push-ups under the door Your Mum's so poor she has to pay monthly installments for bread Your Mum's so fat she has to put her belt on with a boomerang |
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