A Dog Named Sex

07-30-2004

Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him "Rover" or "Spot". I call mine Sex. Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to the City Hall to renew the dog's license, I told the clerk that I would like a license for Sex. He said, "I would like to have one too!" Then I said, "But she is a dog!" He said he didn't care what she looked like. I said, "You don't understand. ... I have had Sex since I was nine years old." He replied, "You must have been quite a strong boy." When I decided to get married, I told the minister that I would like to have Sex at the wedding. He told me to wait until after the wedding was over. I said, "But Sex has played a big part in my life and my whole world revolves around Sex." He said he didn't want to hear about my personal life and would not marry us in his church. I told him everyone would enjoy having Sex at the wedding. The next day we were married at the Justice of the Peace. My family is barred from the church from then on.

When my wife and I went on our honeymoon, I took the dog with me. When we checked into the motel, I told the clerk that I wanted a room for me and my wife and a special room for Sex. He said that every room in the motel is a place for sex. I said, "You don't understand. ... Sex keeps me awake at night." The clerk said, "Me too!"

One day I entered Sex in a contest. But before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just looking around. I told him that I was going to have Sex in the contest. He said that I should have sold my own tickets. "You don't understand," I said, "I hoped to have Sex on TV." He called me a show off.

When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married but Sex left me after I was married." The Judge said, "Me too!"

Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking all over for her. A cop came over and asked me what I was doing in the alley at 4 o'clock in the morning. I said, "I'm looking for Sex." -- My case comes up next Thursday.

Well now I've been thrown in jail, been divorced and had more damn troubles with that dog than I ever foresaw. Why just the other day when I went for my first session with the psychiatrist, she asked me, "What seems to be the trouble?" I replied, "Sex has been my best friend all my life but now it has left me for ever. I couldn't live any longer so lonely." and the doctor said, "Look mister, you should understand that sex isn't a man's best friend
so get yourself a dog."

lol this isn't mine!

.Shugo · 07-30-2004

Best part:

"You don't understand," I said, "I hoped to have Sex on TV." He called me a show off.

Lol, halarious.

.SS2gohan784 · 07-31-2004

thats great!

.Balmung · 07-31-2004

I've seen that before

07-31-2004

me too i once saw it in our newspaper. i'm sure it was just the joke of the week or something.

The Game · 07-31-2004

HAHAHAHA! I can't stop laughing! Too hard to type. Man, where'd you find that?

**Teecee** · 07-31-2004

Wow, that was great. Now I love Sex. Hehe, there I go again.

.Balmung · 07-31-2004

I know i just love sex......you get in sex's face and you're liek i love you sex you're my best friends you want to play around sex...come on lets play fetch sex

This is gay it does sound like im talkign to a dog

Im horrible at this but i love that story

The Game · 08-02-2004

No, Balmung, like this.
Man, I love Sex, Sex was great last night. Sex kept hopping up and down. Sex is the best.
Like that

08-02-2004

no no you don't get it.

last night i stayed up all night because of sex, i'm so tired now
when i get home i'm gonna have to set some limits for sex, i'm never gonna have sex in my room.
i'll have sex outside on the porch, i'll have sex on the porch before i go to work and after i come home i'll have sex in the livingroom, but not on the carpet, i like my carpet and i don't want sex to slobber all over it.

The Game · 08-02-2004

O_O Wow, the last part of that was WRONG!

.Balmung · 08-02-2004

I thoguht the l;ast part made no sence actully

.Nimbus · 08-03-2004

Pretty creative I must tell my friend.

.~Inuyasha~ · 08-08-2004

Me:Hey ssj4_gotenks I like Sex too its cool can I have it at my house?

ssj4_gotenks:Alright with me!

Me:Cool Im gonna have fum with sex all night long!

ssj4_gotenks:You know sex shouldnt be your whole life.

Me:But sex is my best friend I love sex its so fun I am sure other people like sex lets find out.

*Runs out into the street*

"Hey everybody Sex is cool sex is great this is sex do you like Sex?I love sex I am going to keep Sex outside it doesnt belong in the house!But I will have sex in the house but also have it outside so everybody can see!!Enjoy!

.Balmung · 08-09-2004

Um like ew.......

what if you just repleaced sex with soem other word liek shit

I like my shit

its so active i mena the way it just sqirms when he needs to get into the toilet for that drinkign crap my shit does

lol

07-30-2004	#1 (permalink)
.ssj4_gotenks Guest Posts: n/a	A Dog Named Sex Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him "Rover" or "Spot". I call mine Sex. Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to the City Hall to renew the dog's license, I told the clerk that I would like a license for Sex. He said, "I would like to have one too!" Then I said, "But she is a dog!" He said he didn't care what she looked like. I said, "You don't understand. ... I have had Sex since I was nine years old." He replied, "You must have been quite a strong boy." When I decided to get married, I told the minister that I would like to have Sex at the wedding. He told me to wait until after the wedding was over. I said, "But Sex has played a big part in my life and my whole world revolves around Sex." He said he didn't want to hear about my personal life and would not marry us in his church. I told him everyone would enjoy having Sex at the wedding. The next day we were married at the Justice of the Peace. My family is barred from the church from then on. When my wife and I went on our honeymoon, I took the dog with me. When we checked into the motel, I told the clerk that I wanted a room for me and my wife and a special room for Sex. He said that every room in the motel is a place for sex. I said, "You don't understand. ... Sex keeps me awake at night." The clerk said, "Me too!" One day I entered Sex in a contest. But before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just looking around. I told him that I was going to have Sex in the contest. He said that I should have sold my own tickets. "You don't understand," I said, "I hoped to have Sex on TV." He called me a show off. When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married but Sex left me after I was married." The Judge said, "Me too!" Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking all over for her. A cop came over and asked me what I was doing in the alley at 4 o'clock in the morning. I said, "I'm looking for Sex." -- My case comes up next Thursday. Well now I've been thrown in jail, been divorced and had more damn troubles with that dog than I ever foresaw. Why just the other day when I went for my first session with the psychiatrist, she asked me, "What seems to be the trouble?" I replied, "Sex has been my best friend all my life but now it has left me for ever. I couldn't live any longer so lonely." and the doctor said, "Look mister, you should understand that sex isn't a man's best friend so get yourself a dog." lol this isn't mine!

07-31-2004	#6 (permalink)
The Game (23) Final Warrior Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 2,799 Rep Power: 7	HAHAHAHA! I can't stop laughing! Too hard to type. Man, where'd you find that? __________________ ORIGINAL SIG IS ORIGINAL.

08-02-2004	#9 (permalink)
The Game (23) Final Warrior Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 2,799 Rep Power: 7	No, Balmung, like this. Man, I love Sex, Sex was great last night. Sex kept hopping up and down. Sex is the best. Like that __________________ ORIGINAL SIG IS ORIGINAL.

08-02-2004	#11 (permalink)
The Game (23) Final Warrior Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 2,799 Rep Power: 7	O_O Wow, the last part of that was WRONG! __________________ ORIGINAL SIG IS ORIGINAL.

07-30-2004	#2 (permalink)
.Shugo (21) Majin Warrior Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 1,798 Rep Power: 6	Best part: "You don't understand," I said, "I hoped to have Sex on TV." He called me a show off. Lol, halarious.

07-31-2004	#3 (permalink)
.SS2gohan784 (4) Turtle School Disciple Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 28 Rep Power: 0	thats great!

07-31-2004	#4 (permalink)
.Balmung (22) Super Saiyan 3 Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 2,144 Rep Power: 7	I've seen that before

07-31-2004	#5 (permalink)
.ssj4_gotenks Guest Posts: n/a	me too i once saw it in our newspaper. i'm sure it was just the joke of the week or something.

07-31-2004	#7 (permalink)
Teecee Super Moderator Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 3,081 Blog Entries: 2 Rep Power: 85	Wow, that was great. Now I love Sex. Hehe, there I go again.

07-31-2004	#8 (permalink)
.Balmung (22) Super Saiyan 3 Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 2,144 Rep Power: 7	I know i just love sex......you get in sex's face and you're liek i love you sex you're my best friends you want to play around sex...come on lets play fetch sex This is gay it does sound like im talkign to a dog Im horrible at this but i love that story

08-02-2004	#10 (permalink)
.ssj4_gotenks Guest Posts: n/a	no no you don't get it. last night i stayed up all night because of sex, i'm so tired now when i get home i'm gonna have to set some limits for sex, i'm never gonna have sex in my room. i'll have sex outside on the porch, i'll have sex on the porch before i go to work and after i come home i'll have sex in the livingroom, but not on the carpet, i like my carpet and i don't want sex to slobber all over it.

08-02-2004	#12 (permalink)
.Balmung (22) Super Saiyan 3 Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 2,144 Rep Power: 7	I thoguht the l;ast part made no sence actully

08-03-2004	#13 (permalink)
.Nimbus (8) Saiyan Warrior Join Date: Aug 2004 Posts: 80 Rep Power: 5	Pretty creative I must tell my friend.

08-08-2004	#14 (permalink)
.~Inuyasha~ (19) Mastered Super Saiyan Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 994 Rep Power: 5	Me:Hey ssj4_gotenks I like Sex too its cool can I have it at my house? ssj4_gotenks:Alright with me! Me:Cool Im gonna have fum with sex all night long! ssj4_gotenks:You know sex shouldnt be your whole life. Me:But sex is my best friend I love sex its so fun I am sure other people like sex lets find out. Runs out into the street "Hey everybody Sex is cool sex is great this is sex do you like Sex?I love sex I am going to keep Sex outside it doesnt belong in the house!But I will have sex in the house but also have it outside so everybody can see!!Enjoy!

08-09-2004	#15 (permalink)
.Balmung (22) Super Saiyan 3 Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 2,144 Rep Power: 7	Um like ew....... what if you just repleaced sex with soem other word liek shit I like my shit its so active i mena the way it just sqirms when he needs to get into the toilet for that drinkign crap my shit does lol