JAIF

Ok, srsly, don't bash me for my poor parody-ing skills. Go bash SSJ5 Goku instead - his parodies are definately worse than mine =/. Besides, this isn't exactly a parody... more of a comedic adventure thingy. Meh, just something I came up with to pass the time. Enjoy.

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Prologue: The Reign of Hatred

Somewhere in the North of the surprisingly generically named lands of MFG, two great towers stood, made out of solid black steel and huge marble rocks. Legend had it that no man's hand had ever placed even a pebble on these towers - that their construction was the work of Gods from ages long past, and granted to mankind as a monument to their power. Some even went as far to say as that they were a gift from Sharky - but those who whispered that kind of blasphemy never lived long enough to spread it around - Sharky's name was not allowed to be pronounced by mortals.

Many times in MFG's recorded history had these twin artificial behemoths been besieged - never had they fallen. For since the ancient times, a great monarch and warlord resided within, one who was rumored to have given the towers their current names, and who was said to command an army of over 9,000 soldiers.

The tower facing the East was called the Fang of Phear.

The tower on the West was named the Claw of Hatred.

And the one within was no other than Nikushimi, once known as JC, the Juggling Cerberus.

Nikushimi was a fair and just ruler.

Were one to say that phrase in his realm, he'd probably be laughed at.

Nikushimi was a harsh, merciless king who ruled with an iron fist, controlling his subordinates with phear, and flaunting his enormous hatred all across the land. However, he had led his people to many victories, and thus, noone was complaining.

Or more accurately, noone dared complain.

Not after approximately five year ago, when a mad scientist code-named 'Anonymous' tried to use several experimental explosive devices to bring down Nikushimi's towers. He never made it to the gates - once seen by the All-Seeing Eye of Nikushimi, he was captured by his guards and brought to kneel before the great king.

However, that plan was meant to fail, for Anonymous was in fact a skilled kamikaze. Screaming the battle cry of Final Ultima's evil realm, a small city-state within the northern region of MFG, which was an unintelligible collection of words, including but in no way limited to "Joules!", "DBZ - it's the anime and manga!" and "Henka Beam!", he rushed across the throne room while simultaneously activating his final detonator, seeking to explode upon Nikushimi himself, ending his rule.

The plan had one flaw though - it lacked hatred, as Nikushimi kindly informed Anonymous once the smoke from the gigantic explosion cleared, revealing the great king, completely unscathed, holding Anonymous' wrist as if he were a mere child, right before touching his forehead with his finger, mentally infiltrating his brain and turning him into a drooling vegetable that in no way ever phrased or performed an action that would insinuate opposition to Nikushimi. Noone ever heard of Anonymous again - again, according to rumor, Nikushimi's pet dragon was feasting on his bones for months to come. Final Ultima paid a tribute of one hundred Collector's Edition DVDs of the Naruto Series, that seemed to pacify the grand lord - and the issue was silenced, squelching all further talk of rebellion.

Oh yes, Nikushimi was the unquestionable ruler of the RPG realm - the Northern State of MFG. But like all great lords, he had his enemies. Three fellow Lords of MFG hated him with a passion, an endless desire to unseat him from his majestic throne and claim the Fang of Phear and the Claw of Hatred for themselves.

The Lord of the East - KuroiKenshi. A great swordsman, whose sword was rumored to be much too big to be called a sword - massive, thick, heavy, and far too rough... indeed, it was like a slab of raw iron.

The Lord of the South - Ketchup, who has bestowed upon himself the title of his ancestors - Island of One Billion Condiments. Island was a great strategist and tactician of war, said to be matched only by Nikushimi himself in war ingeniuity.

The Lord of the West - SSJ5 Goku. But SSJ5 Goku wasn't the real threat hailing from MFG's western regions. He had been placed upon the throne as a puppet commandeered by a greater force, a power of primordial evil, a being of pure darkness - the nightmare once known as...

...Papa Chang.

Wars had riddled the Lands of MFG for years and years between the three Rulers and Nikushimi - and who knows, had the three been able to reach a compromise, they might have achieved victory. But alas, any alliances were short-lived, and immediately terminated due to disputes over gained or lost ground, and Nikushimi always prevailed. Had it not been for the two Overlords, Ace and Punxx, Nikushimi would have reached out himself to crush his opponents - but an absolute decree by the Overlords not only prevented him from striking out with his forces, but also disabled the battle cry of his army, "PH34r m3!11!", drastically reducing morale. Just once, Ketchup came close to beating Nikushimi after defeating his combined forces in a city called "Alakazam" and acquiring the title of Great Lord, but he was forced to retire soon afterwards, abandoning his plans for domination - noone knew the details, but they were said to involve Papa Chang.

After this unneccessarily long introduction and narration of the events that led up to MFG's current state, we can eventually move on to the first chapter of the great legacy, that is about to unfold itself within those troubled lands. New heroes will rise, old dynasties will fall, thousands will be slain and lands will be obliterated before the curtain of the bloody war that is about to commence falls, leaving one, undisputable victor - who will that be, only destiny will show.

Who am I, you ask?

I am a mere wanderer, a storyteller of sorts, one that has lived through these events, even though it is pretty vague whether they take place in the past or in the future, and have taken it upon myself to pass these legends to the new generation.

I wasn't always that, of course. Back in the day, I was a warrior known as JAIF.

But that will have to wait for later.

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Also, this story will be played out interactively - starting from the first chapter, at the end of each chapter I am going to give you a number of choices, usually 2-3, and your choices will determine the plot's direction. Idea implemented by Arros in DBZ... Your Choice!!, but I actually took it from the Dungeons and Dragons interactive movie <_<.

Nikushimi

My head just 'asploded from an abrupt ego-inflation. You made me sound so epic, and unstoppable, and ruthless, with "OVER NINE-THOUSAAAAAND" soldiers.

Yet, at the same time, eff u for the "Papa Chang" shit, srsly. >=/

And, since when was Nikushimi defeated in the city of "Alakazam"? :/



Lulzworthy, anyway. Do moar. And include a massive Itachi war. Because this lacks hatred so far.

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Kei

That was awesome.

I'd like to see some Kei in there. >_>

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BurningVegeta

JAIF, was was unbelievably good. Loved the MFG, and Lord of the Rings cross over. Really interesting and epic can't wait for more. Awesome stuff, well done.

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JAIF

Alright guys, here's the actual chapter 1. About "Alakazam", I had to deflate your ego somewhat =/ - it was mostly a staged victory anyway. Kei, pretty much everyone I know here on MFG will be included in the story - some people in a little more... random parts than others ;>_>. Burning, thanks, I'll try my best to make this an MFG epic-proportion story =/.

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Chapter 1: Declaration of War

Deep within the Emerald Chambers, a man was sleeping, clutched tightly in his fluffy pillows. The bedroom was extremely comfortable, featuring a cozy couch opposite to a massive wide-screen TV with access to 392 different satellite channels, thick Persian carpets that oddly depicted sheep playing around in green meadows, and a large refrigerator which, according to the myriads of bottles lying all around it, was filled with beers and all kinds of alcoholic beverages.

This man who lived like a King, was in fact the second greatest non-divine entity in the hierarchy of the lands of MFG. Punxx, the Overlord, the Hand of Ace, the Great Enforcer, and Justice Incarnate were few of the titles bestowed upon this great man who was sleeping soundly in his palace.

Or not so soundly. With a start, he stirred - with a gasp, his body rose, even though it took him another second to open his eyes, blinking to adjust to the sudden light from the four gigantic windows, whose curtains were apparently programmed to open when Punxx woke up.

"Damn." He cursed, rubbing his eyes. "I was having such a nice dream... I was in Canada, leading the Canadian national parade, and carrying a Canadian flag..." He sighed as he shook himself fully awake, and his expression grew strict.

"There is... a disturbance." He muttered. "Something is wrong in the Lands of MFG, my admin hax0r senses are tingling..." Punxx scratched his head. Suddenly, as if reaching a decision, he jumped up from his bed, and began pacing around.

"It's time to visit... the room."

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Far to the North, the icy wind that howled around the twin Towers of Hatred and Phear did not seem to bother Nikushimi, who was sleeping in his Itachi pajamas in his Itachi blankets on his Itachi sheets with the windows wide open. An Itachi poster was on the wall right above his bed, so giant it reached the ceiling. It depicted Itachi glaring sternly at the opposite wall, where a much smaller poster of Sasuke was hung. The smaller picture was riddled with holes, as if someone had been using it as target practice. Judging from the collection of knives, daggers, kunai and shuriken on King Nikushimi's bedstand, someone probably had.

A dragon's roar shook the very Earth to its foundations, brutally shocking the thousands of denizens of MFG's northern province to their feet - but for Nikushimi, this was just a pleasant wake up call. He yawned, stretching his arms, and as if that was the cue, three very distinguished members of the kingdom's nobility appeared on his doorstep, bringing in trays containing the King's breakfast. In bright blue clothing, G.O.A.T - the King's economical advisor. In scarlet red, burningvegeta - the King's political advisor. And in emerald green, ANB - the King's military advisor. Ever since Nikushimi politically outsmarted and trapped the organization known as Numeros MFG, he had adopted these three as his advisors, but alas, they were so in name only, for Nikushimi minded noone's opinion but his own, and he just had them running around for errands.

But today, he was in a particularly good mood - and the giant dragon that had just arrived, a tighly stuffed box hanging from his scaly neck, waiting patiently just outside his window, was a large part of the reason.

"Bring it to me!" Nikushimi, his face bright with glee, ordered, as soon as his three servants had deposited the trays on his kingly bed. Burningvegeta hurried up, fetching the package, which Nikushimi greedily opened.

However, no sooner had he looked inside, than he frowned. It wasn't supposed to contain so much package material... Eventually, his hand caressed a piece of paper. His breath caught. He finally had it in his hands!!

The Naruto: Shippuuden Issue 385!!

Sadly, the elation was but temporary, as the great King discovered he was only holding a single piece of paper. Nikushimi was growing impatient now, as he unfolded the letter.

"Dear Nishimuki,

It is our pleasure to inform you that we have orchestrated an unneccessarily complicated ambush to capture and imprison your weekly manga provider, thereby stripping you of your source of the Naruto manga.

All your manga are belong to us now.

Come and get them... if you dare.

With regards,

KuroiKenshi & Island of 1,000,000 Condiments."

The emotion that appeared on the King's face, distorting his features, could only be described as raw, cold rage. The three servants, as well as the dragon, shrunk back in fear, awaiting the explosion that was sure to come.

A few hours later, after the last lightning bolts of the storm generated by the King's wrath faded away, Jonny America, perhaps the only person in the whole kingdom who could sometimes give helpful advice that Nikushimi would accept, arrived in the royal chamber - hesitating for a second before knocking the door.

"Grr... those damn bastards." Nikushimi was monologuing in his room, now dressed in his royal black cloak with red clouds. "I haven't felt this angry ever since L'oreal cancelled my one-year-long subscription on their latest purple nail-polish products."

"Come in!" He admitted Jonny.

"You wished to see me, great King?" Jonny asked respectfully, bowing his head - though not as deeply as most other servants. Jonny was a class above, and while he was very careful not to overstep his position, he knew what his state allowed him.

"Yes, yes." Nikushimi replied impatiently. "You heard about it, right?" He flinged the letter at Jonny, who caught it with one hand.

"I did, yes." Jonny stated, reading the letter and frowning. "Well, under these circumstances, it's pretty unlikely that this has been forged."

"Damn, I never even thought of that possibility." Nikushimi thought. "He is good... maybe too good."

"I reached that conclusion myself, Jonny." Nikushimi said sternly. "I decided that this act is a clear provocation to open war. And it is war they shall have!"

"But my King" Jonny said, taken aback "the edict..."

"THE EDICT LACKS HATRED!!" Nikushimi roared, and thunder boomed again. Jonny cowered in fear.

"Attacking a few villages, killing a few people... I can overlook those. But stealing my manga... that is an act of pure terrorism. It is an act of war, my friend, and I'm not the one who started it. Therefore..."

"...don't tell me..." Jonny whispered in fear. It seemed that the entire kingdom held its breath, as Nikushimi walked up to the window and gazed outside. He briefly drew a deep breath, and time itself paused to bask in the glory of that single man.

"PH34R M3!!11!1!!!!111!!!1!1!"

Nikushimi's forbidden battle cry, banned by a direct decree from the Overlords themselves, echoed throughout the ancient kingdom.

The Armies of Hatred would ride to war once more, Nikushimi thought with pride, as thousands of horns resounded, signaling the intention of the citizens to stand by their ruler in this darkest hour.

---

"Nikushimi..." Punxx muttered, shaking his head. He was dressed in his official red attire, standing alone in a much smaller room that only contained a table, in front of which Punxx was positioned, gazing into a crystal ball, that showed Nikushimi's wild, determined face, and into a compass that pointed straight north. "So this is what you are planning. Very well then... you've had your fair share of warnings. This cannot, and will not be allowed."

The Overlord turned around, his cloak flapping beside him as he walked towards the single door.

"Let's hope you are prepared for the consequences."

---

Back in the North, the council between Nikushimi and Jonny America continued.

"All I'm saying is that we are heavily outnumbered." Jonny America seemed to be pressing a point. "An invasion on enemy territory without an ally to guard our backs - that is foolish."

"We don't need an ally, we have hatred." Nikushimi interrupted, annoyed.

"But think of it." Jonny rephrased his words. "If we ally with someone now, we can use him to defeat one of our opponents, then when they are both weakened, we can betray him and crush him and our enemies as well!"

"Hmm." Nikushimi paused in thought for a moment. "I like this plan. It has... a decent amount of hatred. But who to trust..."

"There is always SS2 Vegeto." Jonny suggested carefully. His plan had been accepted, but one must always take care when talking to Nikushimi. "He's been the leading member of the Senate for two consecutive years, and he has taken a considerably positive stance towards us. The Senate was a group of beaurocrats and politicians that intervened whenever internal or external issues threatened the peace in the lands of MFG - at least, in theory. The Senate had an army of themselves, and they most often meddled things further rather than resolve them.

"Hmpfh." Nikushimi murmured, unconvinced.

"We could approach the #MFG." Jonny continued. "After you eliminated the Numeros MFG from the scene, they have been pretty favorable towards you." #MFG was a small independent state between Nikushimi's Land of the North and Kenshi's Land of the East. Its ruling council consisted of a handful of skilled tricksters and politicians with cloudy pasts, the Leader of whom, Kei, was considered the representative of the small country to the rest of the world. "Plus, you could get your chance at that dream you once told me about, the one of having a threesome with Amerowolf and Ran-"

"And what did I also tell you that very same day?" Nikushimi interrupted, his face a cold mask of fury and hatred.

"...that this was never to be repeated, ever again." Jonny muttered in fear. Nikushimi kept staring at him coldly, Jonny America shrinking further back against the wall. Finally, the King broke eye contact. Jonny felt sweat trickling down his skin. That was a close one.

"...and there is also Zer0 and Majuub's team." Nikushimi frowned. Zer0 and Majuub had been... in one word, survivalists. They were originally citizens of SSJ5 Goku's province, but they abandoned their origins when they were accepted into the Senate, a neccessary requirement - but when the status quo shifted to favor Island, who was harboring feelings of suspicion towards them, they were forced to give up their position, subsequently joining the Numeros MFG and regaining some of their former influence. When the Numeros were disbanded by Nikushimi, those two fled to the far North, and created a renegade group of citizens who lived outside the law - however, no hostilities have been exchanged between them and Nikushimi's state, and neither saw any reason to bother the other. They were actually plausible candidates for an alliance... maybe.

Nikushimi was absorbed in thought now. Whom to choose as an ally? Who was potent - or trustworthy - enough? The dilemma tortured him...

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Who should Nikushimi attempt to seal an alliance with?

a) Kei and the #MFG.

b) SS2 Vegeto, High Lord of the Senate.

c) Zer0, Majuub and the Outlaws.

d) Nikushimi, allies? He doesn't need no allies, he got hatred.

Kei

I swear, this is the best thing I've read on MFG. No lies. <3

1.

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Nikushimi

Have you ever felt so completely awesome, that it was like getting struck endlessly in the chest, until you couldn't breathe?

Of course not. You aren't me.


Anyways, I am, of course, loving this so far. My character is cold, ruthless, hot-headed, and treacherous. And, while my super-inflated ego would like me to go with "D.", I am...not THAT arrogant. That is always the big mistake villains make. So I will have to go with "B.", Vegeto and the Senate. There's friction between me and Kei, and there's no reason to get the #MFG on my side, because after bending the Numerous over a table, they're basically already with me. If I go with Zer0, Majuub, and the outlaws, I have a group of rogues. What then? No, the prize is definitely SS2 Vegeto and the Senate. If I get my ambitious claws in them, I'll have their army at my disposal, and I'll be able to act through them, under pretenses and shit.

This fic is so full of hatred and ph34r by my hand, it's almost supernatural... I literally felt the chorus of lightning when my character screamed "PH34R M3!1!11!1!!1!" out the window. >:D

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GOAT

3 there could be a Numeros reunion. Plus it could give me some lines. And JAIF this fricking epic mate you better not abandon this.

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Chuckles

*Heart skipps beat*

I loves it. Although, you're making Nikushimi's head big. Anyway this story owns half the others with a stick of awsomeness. However, it lacks...me. (lol)

B) for me.

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BurningVegeta

This has easily surpassed all of the books, and MFG fan fics I have ever read. This is indescribable, its like one of those films you only get to see once and its at such a high-quality; it does make you excited like nothing you've ever felt before: Nikushimi almost summed it up, but its beyond that, this will go down in history. Well done JAIF, you've done yourself proud, you can be certain of that. Thats was awesome well written everything was perfect, you have superior writing expertise. I bow down to you.

-I like option c) Zer0, Majuub and the Outlaws, in this story they were Numeros. If the former Numeros join Nikushimi then #MFG will surely rises up against Nikushimi. I would enjoy seeing that.

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Island of 1,000 Condiments

1,000,000 Condiments?

1,000,000,000?


Wow.

I Ctrl + F'd until I found mention of Island. =/

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Eragon

Like Kei said, best MFG fic.
Ever.

c

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Star Platinum

1)

IT's by far the most EPIC choice.

And we all know NIku wants his threesome.

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Fred