SSJJason

For those who even bothered to look at my fics i just wanted to thank them for commenting on it and giving suggestions .

One announcement is that i want mods to lock the db af fic i made.
I havn't been writing to much of that lately and it's not doing as well as my Ben 10 fic.

So for those who read and liked that fic thank you but the fic is going to end.

Another announcement is that Ken 10 vs Kevin 11: fight to the finsh!
will soon be ending but there will be a sequel.
A dbz fic is planned and it's about goten , trunks and my oc Jason, Aka " godmodded charecter" . The title is Trio adventures: Enter the world of
dbz! They are the main charecters and the fic is foucsed on them surving without the stronger sayians help.

I can't work on two things so ill have to end the ben 10 fic soon. I really want to get the other fics i got in my head started.

So again thanks for reading my fics!

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Vivi

Why are you closing your AF fic?

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SSJJason

Most people liked Ken 10 and on the other one i really didnt think the story was worth continuing.
I do have more fics comming and as soon as Ken 10 is over, ill start that
my other fic.
Ken 10 : Alien force : comming soon!
Survial training : this weekend...
Dragon ball af : Savior saga : after i end ken 10 , trust me it will end on a cliffhanger...
Son Goten, the legendary super sayian : Soon....after the fic above is over...

Ken 10 alien force....i aint telling when thats coming ...you try to guess if you win, you get a cookie rolf

Charecters: Ken tenenyson , 15 Danielle , 15 Devin , 16
Ken and danielle gain new abilites and when Ben is captured, The trio bands together to find him and stop the forever knights . They meet a boy named William along the way who has a omnitrix - like watch.

Plot: After 5 years, Ken finds that Devin ran away and Danielle is no where to be found. The trio meet up at Ken's soccer game and Devin and Ken battle each other. The trio soon finds that Ken's father, Ben tenenyson is gone missing....the trio realize they must work together like old times and
Destroy the master mind....

Thats it...plz comment

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Vivi

You should try improving your grammar and spelling. Just simply spelling words correctly, using sentences, and proper capitalization would be a vast improvement.

But don't worry, I once had grammar as horrible.

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The Electron Zone

AF Fic: Great
Ken 10 Fic: Needs work

your a good writer.

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Vivi

"You are (You're) a good writer."

And, I haven't read any of your fictions yet, but I will try to get on that. And I'll bring some constructive criticism, I hopefully won't be too harsh.

EDIT: Here, let me show you an example of what could make your fic better:

I edited your latest chapter.

Chapter 5: the mastermind part 1

It was prank day at Bellwood middle school and water ballons were dropping everywhere.

"Hey Danielle, what's up?" Devin asked with a squirter in the back of his hand.

"Devin you really think I'm that stupid? Give me that squirter!"

Danielle dived at devin and made him slip on the water his squirter dropped, making him crack his head.

Danielle laughed "What's wrong Devin? Need ideas for good-"

Her sentence was interrupted by a water ballon thrown by Ken and a other kid.

" Oh man...she's gonna punch the crap out of us!" The kid said.

"Us? We made a deal....if you helped me get her then you could ask her out. Remember that? I 'm not responsible for this anymore." Ken said.

"Oh yeah...whatever!" the kid smirked.

"Oh yeah? Okay fine the deal is off you nerd! You'll think twice about tricking someone again trust me." Ken eyed his watch.

"Yeah? What are you gonna do about it? Do your little girly slaps on me?" The kid was laughing hard on his back.

Danielle came out of know where and punched him in the face "Don't worry. I'm pretty forgiving on prank day."

"Oh is that so? Well thanks anyway." Ken eyed her.

What they didn't realize was that the whole seventh grade was watching them "flirt" near the statue of the finder of the school. When they saw the seventh graders they blushed so red it looked like they put there faces in hot water. Click! A photo flash went.

"HA ha gotcha! Now to put this up in the schools year book!" the kid laughed but then smirked as he walked away.

"That little twerp!" Danielle said.

"How was that dude anyway?" said Devin with a humongous band-aid on his forehead.

"Don't know....that kid looked like me though...wait a second....not like me my father ....which means..." Ken paused in between really thinking "That's ....Negative 10!" Danielle and Ken shouted.

When it was the 4th period, the fire alarm rung but the hallways were burned and too hot. Danielle and Len were in the bathroom at the time and when they sensed the heat they transformed. Danielle and Ken met up in alien form and made a plan...

"Hmm...One of us will have to evacuate the school and the other will face Negative 10. We meet up outside." Said Fang Fang.

"I'll face my fathers old nemises" said Cloner.

"Okay then we meet up outside and try not to get hurt." Fang Fang said.

"Got it...."

Cloner and Fang Fang split ways and Cloner followed the paths of fire ( on the walls) to Negative 10.

The "kid " came out and looked at his watch and turned "hero".

" Ha HA HA!!" said Fourarms

"Fourarms? Hm...bad luck for me but .... i have to win!" Cloner cloned himself and launched at the pole swinging around and then kicking fourarms .
Meanwhile, Fang-Fang rushed the building outside and waited for the fire trucks to come.

"Where are they?" she tapped her foot.

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The Electron Zone

Oh, sorry. You're a great writer.

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Vivi

It's okay man, not a big, just was letting you know.

And Jason:

"Devin you really think I'm that stupid? Give me that squirter!" Danielle screamed in a vivid tantrum.

As Danielle suddenly dived through the air at Devin, he slipped on some water, slamming his head down on the hard cement ground. With a groan he reached his hand up to his shaggy head, feeling a massively swollen lump.

Danielle's face turned beet red as she shook with incredible laughter. "What's wrong Devin? Need ideas for good-"

After you work on your grammar and spelling, you can begin adding description such as that. If you need any pointers you can always ask me.

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SSJJason

Thanks...i'm just learning how to wright fics.
Starting from this point, my fics will include descriptions, and better spelling. You can help me work on it if you want...

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Vivi

Yeah, for sure. Start with using Microsoft word, or something with spell/grammar check, then if you need to, you can PM me a chapter and I can review it. I'm not going to be a nazi about it, but I'll point stuff out.

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