Fabula Mirabilis

[Null]

An idea I've had, just though I'd post it and get responses on the general outline of it. Vote for or against this, please.

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In an average town in a world of fantasy and war, strange things start to occur in the once peaceful land which is home to many farmers and blacksmiths alike.

People are going missing.

Sent out on a small week-long task to investigate the mysterious disappearance of the Mayor's daughter, Lucia, our Hero finds himself in battle with a strange cloaked man who appears immediately hostile upon being discovered. Fighting bravely, the Hero manages to fend off this shrouded individual, forcing him to escape. Still unsure of Lucia's location, he heads back to the town defeated.

Yet when he arrives, nobody is there to meet him. He finds his hometown of Korrik to be deserted, void of all activity and life. Even the once lively animals have completely disappeared without a trace.

Shortly afterwards, our Hero travels to the nearby Capital, in order to obtain information about the peculiar situation. Unfortunately, this is where things get a bit sketchy story wise. The Hero meets up with a wise Sage, who believes this to be the work of a malevolent force (unfortunately I do not have a name for him yet), who captures the "Life Essence" of people in order to renew the life of his long dead army, so that he may march upon the Kingdom once more, for the second time in one thousand years.

In order to rescue the people of his hometown and save the people of the world, our Hero must destroy this power - even at the cost of his own life...

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Yeah... so that's it, really. I have no name for the Hero (Toying with the name "Kyzune", but that's subject to change), or the antagonist. Anyway, thoughts on the basic plot? Yay or nay?

[Island of 1,000 Condiments]

If your Sage is actually Velox, this Fiction would be win.


Very winful.

[Pyro Bastard]

Granted you're a good writer, this kinda sounds cliche. It could be good, but by that plot outline, it sounds like something that has been done multiple times.

[Island of 1,000 Condiments]

You should also tie up loose-ends.


Like, What became of this Lucia?

[Null]

Originally Posted by Island of 1,000 Condiments

If your Sage is actually Velox, this Fiction would be win.


Very winful.

Remind me what Velox is like again and I may consider it. I already had ideas for the Sage however, so you'll have to bare with me.

Originally Posted by Pyro Bastard

Granted you're a good writer, this kinda sounds cliche. It could be good, but by that plot outline, it sounds like something that has been done multiple times.

I can see why you would get that idea, but trust me, that is the most basic of basic plot outlines. The main character isn't an orphan, if that helps reduce the clichéness of it all. Hell, I've even been considering making the stereotypical wise, old sage into a young woman who has inherited her father's scripts. But that's just concept.

Looking back over it, I have presented it in a fairly cliché manner - I'll fix that, don't worry.

As far as Lucia goes... I can't really tell you what happened to her without ruining possibly one of the largest parts of the plot I've thought of so far. All could change, though - remember, this is pretty early stages.