![]() |
|
|
|||||||
| Creative Writing Love to write? Your one-stop shop for creative works from the best in MFG fiction. |
|
|
LinkBack | Thread Tools |
|
|
#1 (permalink) |
|
(1) Earthling
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 3
Rep Power: 0
|
This is a meet from many anime and even some characters that i made
up.This starts in DBZ in the hyperbolic Time Chamber With Goku And Vegeta Using Their New Transformations. Chapter 1:TheWarriors "Common Vegeta!You have to master it!"Goku Told Vegeta As He Was Powering up "I WILL NOT LOSE TO KAKAROT"Vegeta Said As he finaly Turned SuperSaiyan5. "Good Now lets Start"Goku Said As the Too Transformed SS5 ... As where Naruto and Sasuke Where they both were doing there ultimate moves Chidori and Rasengan at Full power "SASUKE YOU WON'T WIN"Naruto yelled "Ha I've Heard That before"Sasuke said with a smile. ... Now Two new fighters where training in a world that no one except the 10 gods That are extremley powerful. "RAH MAXIMUM DRAGON ROAR"King Foxano Yelled as he fired the Powerful Blast. "AJISTU"Dagarra(My friend made up his name while he had no idea it had garra in it)yelled as he fired the most powerful move ever in Existance. ... However in a dark world Someone Was Watching Them With interest. "Hmm.Strange warriors.I want to make this more interesting...I know I'll combine the warriors and see if they can beat me.I'll chose that world as the home.The Mysterious Person said as he pointed to the galaxy of Naruto and sasuke."HAHHAHAHHAHAHAHA THIS WILL BE FUN.Now....Dark Stormius Combine!."The Mysterious person said as he cast the spell. What Will happen next who is the strange person and will he do what he said he would?Find out in the next Chapter! |
|
|
|
|
|
#4 (permalink) | |
|
Naruto Ranked
(22) Yonbi
|
good here is my comment you need to improve both length, description and grammer that looks like it was thought up and written by a 8 year old kid who had just discovered the internet and had proceeded to join the first forum he felt would be fun to terrorize with bad grammer.
__________________
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
#5 (permalink) |
|
Bleach Ranked
(21) Onmitsukido Leader
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Sitting on the roof, staring at the bright cresent moon...
Posts: 1,681
Rep Power: 27
|
__________________
|
|
|
|
|
|
#6 (permalink) | ||
|
Naruto Ranked
(22) Yonbi
|
Quote:
i agree with that... try harder mate...
__________________
|
||
|
|
|
|
|
#7 (permalink) |
|
Bleach Ranked
(21) Onmitsukido Leader
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Sitting on the roof, staring at the bright cresent moon...
Posts: 1,681
Rep Power: 27
|
Also give the character some frickin' physical features, attire, etc. >_>
Don't leave it up to the audience.
__________________
|
|
|
|
|
|
#8 (permalink) | ||
|
Naruto Ranked
(22) Yonbi
|
Quote:
![]() oh and actually introduce you'r OC's i don't know what they are at all so im going to go with they resemble mice but are actually smaller then ants...
__________________
|
||
|
|
|
|
|
#9 (permalink) |
|
Bleach Ranked
(21) Onmitsukido Leader
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Sitting on the roof, staring at the bright cresent moon...
Posts: 1,681
Rep Power: 27
|
Man, I feel like I am back in the frickin' 9th grade with all this advising. >_>
ADD. BACKGROUNDS. For all we know, they are all right beside each other in this chapter.
__________________
|
|
|
|
| Bookmarks |
| Thread Tools | |
|
|