Vivi

"You are (You're) a good writer."

And, I haven't read any of your fictions yet, but I will try to get on that. And I'll bring some constructive criticism, I hopefully won't be too harsh.

EDIT: Here, let me show you an example of what could make your fic better:

I edited your latest chapter.

Chapter 5: the mastermind part 1

It was prank day at Bellwood middle school and water ballons were dropping everywhere.

"Hey Danielle, what's up?" Devin asked with a squirter in the back of his hand.

"Devin you really think I'm that stupid? Give me that squirter!"

Danielle dived at devin and made him slip on the water his squirter dropped, making him crack his head.

Danielle laughed "What's wrong Devin? Need ideas for good-"

Her sentence was interrupted by a water ballon thrown by Ken and a other kid.

" Oh man...she's gonna punch the crap out of us!" The kid said.

"Us? We made a deal....if you helped me get her then you could ask her out. Remember that? I 'm not responsible for this anymore." Ken said.

"Oh yeah...whatever!" the kid smirked.

"Oh yeah? Okay fine the deal is off you nerd! You'll think twice about tricking someone again trust me." Ken eyed his watch.

"Yeah? What are you gonna do about it? Do your little girly slaps on me?" The kid was laughing hard on his back.

Danielle came out of know where and punched him in the face "Don't worry. I'm pretty forgiving on prank day."

"Oh is that so? Well thanks anyway." Ken eyed her.

What they didn't realize was that the whole seventh grade was watching them "flirt" near the statue of the finder of the school. When they saw the seventh graders they blushed so red it looked like they put there faces in hot water. Click! A photo flash went.

"HA ha gotcha! Now to put this up in the schools year book!" the kid laughed but then smirked as he walked away.

"That little twerp!" Danielle said.

"How was that dude anyway?" said Devin with a humongous band-aid on his forehead.

"Don't know....that kid looked like me though...wait a second....not like me my father ....which means..." Ken paused in between really thinking "That's ....Negative 10!" Danielle and Ken shouted.

When it was the 4th period, the fire alarm rung but the hallways were burned and too hot. Danielle and Len were in the bathroom at the time and when they sensed the heat they transformed. Danielle and Ken met up in alien form and made a plan...

"Hmm...One of us will have to evacuate the school and the other will face Negative 10. We meet up outside." Said Fang Fang.

"I'll face my fathers old nemises" said Cloner.

"Okay then we meet up outside and try not to get hurt." Fang Fang said.

"Got it...."

Cloner and Fang Fang split ways and Cloner followed the paths of fire ( on the walls) to Negative 10.

The "kid " came out and looked at his watch and turned "hero".

" Ha HA HA!!" said Fourarms

"Fourarms? Hm...bad luck for me but .... i have to win!" Cloner cloned himself and launched at the pole swinging around and then kicking fourarms .
Meanwhile, Fang-Fang rushed the building outside and waited for the fire trucks to come.

"Where are they?" she tapped her foot.

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