Blacklisted

Love, the Antagonist
An original short


It was a beautiful morning that Saturday when I woke, and it was only to get more beautiful. Who would have known that hidden within the rays of the sun was so much hope. A kind of hope that could either lead a person to greatness or to a great drop over the side of a rocky cliff. The latter, I suppose, would only be the case if man thought he could fly. Well, I didn’t know about any man, but that day I was determined to soar.

I woke that fine Saturday morning, yawned, stretched, and put my bare feet onto the cold hardwood. The cool sent chills up the side of my legs and up my spine. I slowly made my way to the window, parted the curtains, and opened the latch swinging the panel open. I stood there in the gentle sunlight, taking a great whiff of the beautiful weather. “Perfect.”

Quickly glancing at the wall-mounted clock I rush to the bathroom to get freshened up and take my shower. My hair was dripping with water and left a trail behind me from the bathroom as I came out with my towel wrapped around my body. Standing in front of the dressing mirror, I let the towel drop to the floor and took in the sight of myself standing there. I took note of my shape, starting from my bare and shaven legs, to the wideness of my hips, to the volume of my breasts. Deep hazel eyes, straight long black hair. I wondered what he would be looking for...

I was getting distracted too easily. Keeping note of the time, I quickly picked out which undergarments I would wear, and threw on some decent-looking clothes. A random top and jeans, for I didn’t have a whole lot of time to spare. With that I grabbed for my purse and poked my head out of my bedroom door. I pushed the door gently to purposely make the hinges squeak just a little. Nobody was home, which essentially meant that I was free!

I locked up and stood across the street from my house waiting for the bus. As beautiful as the day was, it was pretty damn hot. Suddenly I wished I’d have worn something that would keep me cooler. But I instantly thought otherwise, worrying about what HE would think.

HE, was something else. His name was Sufyan, but everyone around the way just referred to him as Suffy. If one were to ask me, or anyone else for that matter, what it was about him that intrigued a person, I’m fairly sure no one would be able to give a straight answer. There was just something different about him. Maybe it was his aura. Or that smile. That super sexy smile that made knees go numb and jaws go wide. Maybe it was his hair. He kept his hair short last year, but this year he’s grown it down to about his nose. His hair was silky, smooth, and soft, and flew crazily about in the wind when he was on his skateboard. It wasn’t black, or, brown, or blonde. It was entirely a colour of its own, and I’m sure no girl would want to have it any other way.

Maybe it wasn’t his hair. Or his smile. Or even his aura. Maybe it was just him. Maybe it was just his mysterious personality that provoked a person to want to know him. To want to get closer. Or maybe, I was just being dumb and blind and falling for something I shouldn’t be. Whatever it was, my mind was set, and I wasn’t about to turn back now.

It’s a bit funny, because Suffy and I never really used to talk much. But it wasn’t like I never noticed him, rather it was more like I was perhaps too proud to give into the effect he has on just about every other girl. But when we did come to talk, somehow – I wish I could remember, it was beautiful. Sure, it started out with just "hi" and "hello", but over time it evolved to something more. Now he treated me like one of his own buddies. Sometimes, I don’t really feel too confident of that particular position in his eyes, but I knew that I was in a place almost every girl I knew wanted to be. But no one would make a problem, at least not yet, no. I was headstrong and determined to keep my position where it stood, and if anything, push further. And, how fortunate for me; he was single. And even if he wasn’t...

We always used to hang out after we got close, but it was usually with me along with his other friends as well. I really didn’t mind because being around him was like nothing else in the world. But even if it was just a bunch of other dumb guys, I wanted him all for myself. Yesterday, when he asked me whether I’d like to hang out I was almost hesitant until I heard that the other guys weren’t going to make it. I jumped on the opportunity when I could. It meant that we could finally have time to just each other, and nobody else.

When my stop came I got off the bus and turned left toward the coffee shop where we were supposed to meet. “Hey Maya,” his voice startled me from behind.

“Oh,” I spun on my heel, almost knocking into his chest. He smelled amazing. “Hey, Suffy. I didn’t see you.”

“Of course you didn’t,” he was being his usual self.

I pushed my hair behind my ear and asked, “How long have you been waiting here?”

“Not too long now,” he said, “about half an hour or so.”

“I’m so sorry, Suffy.”

“It’s OKAY,” he reassured and pushed me along into the coffee shop. He poked me in the ribs, and I squeezed his ass playfully. Oh, there’s another to add to the list...

Inside, he ordered the usual as I got us a table. It was futile trying to pay any more, because he always won. That was his way, his style. And I loved him more for it. But then there were those moments when I was to myself that I questioned the word, and its existence, and wondered whether I was being blind. But then, when I looked at Suffy leaning against the counter waiting for our order, everything was perfect again. He was perfect.

He sat down at the table and put my usual order before me. I was proud to be able to say that he knew me that much, at least, if he was to know anything about me. He busied himself with adding the cream and the precise amount of sugar into his coffee. I watched him as he tore open the packets and stirred. I watched as his muscles flexed so beautifully under his shirt, the way the veins in his arms rose to the surface of his skin. What was most exciting was watching the two little nipples sticking out from inside his shirt. I had it bad, but I wondered if he knew.

“What’re you looking at?” he asked, breaking my trance and looking behind his shoulders. “What is it?”

I felt myself go red in the face. “Nothing,” I smiled, and what came out of my mouth next was purely impulse and had no thought behind it. “It’s just you.”

“Me?” My stupid mouth, what did I say? “Huh?” I look away and pretend to be drinking my coffee, when really all I really want is a dose of his lips. “Maya, talk to me.” I turn my head to face him. “Now, what?”

“Nothing, Suffy,” I tried not to sound too weak. “It’s just you, you know? You’re just this amazing guy, and sometimes I wonder how you could be wasting your time with me.” I couldn’t believe it was still me, Maya, talking. “I mean, don’t get me wrong now. I like spending time with you. In fact, I love it. And. I dunno, forget it.”

He just looked at me with blank stare, and finally said, “No, let’s not. Finish what you started.”

“But I didn’t start anything.”

“Well, you did, and you’ll finish.” He flashed that smile. That smile I’d kill for. That smile that killed ME. That smile. It weakened me, shunned me, stunned me, excited me so.

“You’re amazing, did you know that?” I admitted.

“I am?” he said, making a rather funny looking frown. I didn’t understand whether he really didn’t know or whether he was just being modest with me.

I took a deep breath, and sighed. “Yeah, Suffy. You really are. You’re the kind of guy every girl dreams of. Any girl would kill to be by your side,” I was spilling my guts out to him. “Truth is, I would kill to be by your side.” A moment of silence, and I added, “I’m sorry. I really didn’t mean for you to know all that. But, you’re just so different, Suffy. You’re different from the others.”

He just looked at me, reached across the table and held my hand. “Maya,” was the only word that escaped his lips and he went silent. I looked at him straight into his deep hazel eyes and got lost, just as always. “Maya,” he continued once more. “You know, I don’t keep just any girl by my side. I look at you differently from the other chicks, and I respect you for everything you do and the ways you do ‘em.” I didn’t know whether I should’ve said anything, so I kept silent. “Yo, Maya. Listen, I’m not good with words at all. But, I feel, that you know since you came out with your feelings it’s only fair I guess that I come out with my own as well.” Was this it? My mind was racing. “Maya, I was watching you time before we became close, and truth is, I’ve been waiting a long time to get where we are. And, I think I’d like it if...”

“Finish what you started, Suffy,” I gave the words back to him.

“Damn, Maya. Just damn. I’d like it if we were more, you know?” He seemed nervous, but he still kept his cool. He was still holding my hand, I had just realized, and I applied pressure back.

“I’d love it.”

*

When we left the coffee shop, somehow our palms of hands had found their way to press themselves against one another and the fingers laced between the spaces of the other. We went to the park, talking, laughing; totally in love. At least, I was. It was perfect. He was perfect. This was perfect. I’d finally gotten what I yearned for so long. And now, everything fell into place.

People seemed disturbed by the darkening sky as it threatened to rain. We were however unaffected by it as others rushed to get home, as mothers hurried their unsuspecting toddlers home. We were there on the park bench with his head in my lap. Somewhere in between laughing and telling each other about how we secretly used to steal glances of one another, I lowered my head to meet his and our lips brushed. More than that, they parted and all sense I had left my being. That one kiss lasted for what had seemed like a whole eternity.

However an eternity was not long enough. I abruptly pulled away at the first drizzles of rain. “It’s raining,” I said.

“Let’s go somewhere else, baby,” he said sitting up. I didn’t want to move from how we were. “I don’t want you catching a cold.”

As he insisted I got off the bench and his arm coiled around my waist. I felt so snug, so secure in his arms; I held him back and leaned against his shoulder as we walked. He searched for shelter, “How about under that tree?” he said, pointing to a great willow a couple feet away.

“Suffy darling, it’s raining...”

“But there’s no – ” Just as he had started to say, the sky crackled with a great godly roar.

“Thunder?” I giggled.

“You have any other ideas?” he asked, running a hand through his hair and slicking back the wet mass.

“Sure I do,” I said with a great big smile.

*

I was clumsy with the keys. At first I had the wrong one, and when I had the right one, it wouldn’t seem to go in. I giggled as I turned the lock and swung open the door. “After you,” he said.

“No, no, I insist,” I said, “It is my house, go on.”

“Fine,” was all I heard him say as I was lifted off my feet. He carried me into the house, kicked the door closed and lay me down on the living room sofa. He then busied himself on top of me, swooping down to kiss my neck. “You’re all wet,” he said in between kisses.

“What do you want to do about it?”

“You’re about to find out,” he said with a smile as he pulled away and began to pull my shirt over my head. He threw the shirt to the side and took a long look at me. I was lying there, wet, on the couch with Suffy on top of me; with me in my bra and jeans, him still dripping, wearing everything. I sat up and forced his shirt off him and kissed him roughly. His hands began to wander about, but I didn’t mind. If it were anyone else’s hands they wouldn’t be living, but it was Suffy. And he knew what he was doing, so I let him do as he pleased. At that moment, it didn’t matter to me if and how many girls he’d been with before me, but the fact that he was mine now, and it was all about me and him.

A great sensation travelled throughout my body, and it kept getting stronger with whatever he did. His hands were strong, and a bit rough, but he knew what to do and how to do it. I wondered if he could actually feel what I was feeling. Did he have any idea of what he was doing to me?

He broke away from what seemed like an endless kiss and began kissing my neck again. Occasionally he sucked on it, making my muscles tense and release uncontrollably. He moved lower, kissing all other regions of my body until he got to the button of my jeans. He looked up at me, and I turned my face away. My heart beat rose as his fingers reached to unbutton my pants and...

The phone rang, and it felt as though my heart had just skipped a beat. I pushed Suffy off of me and ran to get the phone. It was mother; she said how she’d be home in about twenty minutes. “Okay, see you then.” I hung up the phone and returned to Suffy, who pulled me back onto the couch and got attempted to return to where we left off.

I was reluctant, but I told him that mother was coming and that she couldn’t see us in the position we were in. “Okay,” he said, putting on his wet shirt. He seemed rather grumpy.

“I’m sorry?” I offered.

“Baby, it’s fine,” he smiled. Everything was perfect. We kissed at the door and he left with swift steps before my mom arrived. I watched as he kicked and coasted into the distance on his skateboard, until he was too far for me to see.

Later that same evening, I called him lying in bed. The first couple of times it kept going to voicemail. I left messages but kept calling back minutes later. Finally he had picked up, and he’d told me that he was busy with some family stuff. “I’ll see you on Monday, babe,” he said.

“Why Monday?” I was frantic, “What about tomorrow?”

“Er – I’m a bit busy tomorrow. I’ll make it up to you, I promise.”


I told him I loved him but he hung up too fast. I decided to leave him alone. But I had no clue how I’d get through Sunday without even talking to him.

*

I went to school Monday with a smile on my face and many thoughts in my head. I missed Suffy, and I was burning to feel his hands around me in tight embrace again. It was hard to believe that I had made it through Sunday without him, but there I was, walking towards the front steps of the school. With nothing else but him on my mind.

People saw the bright look on my face, and gave me rather perplexed looks as I passed them by with the most cheerful "hello". I skipped steps as I climbed the steps to the school. Just as I reached for the door, the one to the opposite side swung open and I saw the familiar long hair. I was just about to swing my arms around him when I’d seen everything.

On his side, with his arms around the waist of another girl – one I’d can’t remember seeing before. He didn’t even see me standing there by the door. My head turned towards them as they made their way laughing down the steps. I could see his Suffy’s hands pressing against the girl’s mini-skirt-donned-ass. I was furious.

“SUFFY!” I yelled at the top of my lungs from atop the school steps.

He turned around but the expression on his face was unchanged. He was still smiling, but this time it had no effect on me. His hands were still around the girl, who turned around too and gave me a cold “hah-what-now-bitch?” stare. Suffy looked at me, still smiling, winked, turned around and walked away.

He walked away, destroying everything that I had just worked for. Everything that I’d known for such a long time. And his smile, it wasn’t perfect. It was nothing near perfect this time around; it was sinister. His eyes gleamed of something else. Something I’d overlooked and now hated myself for having done so; desire.

I felt like a whore. I felt so used. I wanted to take a blade and rip out my tongue. I wanted to do something, anything. It just felt so wrong. I felt abused to have allowed him to touch me like he did. To kiss me like he did. I felt a tight knot in my stomach and I threw up on the side of the steps. I couldn’t bear the thought that I was almost too willing to give to him just what he wanted. There was only one feeling. I felt like a whore. Such a fucking whore.

I couldn’t believe it. He did it as if it was nothing. He’d said the words he’d said as if they were nothing. When he kissed me, it felt so real. It was real. But he wasn’t. How could I have been so dumb? I fell victim to the very thing I tried to avoid all this time; blind love.

My skin burned and my stomach still wrenched viciously. I was unaware of anything else around me as the images of Saturday played back in my head. I hated him. I hated Sufyan so much. But. What hurt the most of all, was that I could still feel his touch on my skin. I could still smell the fresh scent of his cologne. I could still taste his mouth in mine.

And I hated myself more than I hated him for it.

“Fuck love.”

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http://anime.myfavoritegames.com/com...ntagonist.html

(Just in case, my sex is MALE)