Null

Not bad at all Island, the concept seems pretty slick. I'm not the best of writers around here, but I'll just let you know of a few things that irked me as a reader.

Not too many faults here apart from for some reason it doesn't really flow all that well. For example:

It held total control of the economic standings in our multiverse. Its military influence knew no boundaries.

Sections like that are broken up by the periods here and there, which really breaks the flow. A semi colon in between the two sentences could keep it running more smoothly.

And also, one veeeery nit-picky detail:

...upon millions of soldiers from hundred upon hundreds


The first "hundred" should be hundreds I think. Post the full chapter soon, it looks fairly interesting.